What does doing an MBA as a parent mean?
As all the best articles do, let me start with this disclaimer and answer a question that you, my dear reader, might have if you know me at all personally: why am I, a profoundly single student, writing about being a parent at HBS? Research (personally conducted and not peer-reviewed) offers an insight that should perhaps be adopted by the Family Club and every section’s Family Rep: parents probably do not have the additional time to devote to this. I hope to play the role of faithful vassal and childfree ally.
Well, now that that’s out of the way.
Where is the Registration Checklist for Parents?
First of all, right off the bat, I’ve learned that HBS’ resources for parents are not well-organized on a single webpage thrown up on Google search.
“There’s no one go-to place where you can find it all,” says Dania, mom to three-month old Fady.
“It’s not obvious where to search for information,” says Kate, partner to student Wes and mom to five-year-old June.
Step one, then, is to contact SAS or MBA Services. They will connect you to members of the staff, such as Janelle Mills or Joyce Majewski, who become your guides in navigating the resources you might need.
“They were super responsive, and very friendly.”
“I felt very close to them!”
“They shared so much information with me on understanding insurance opportunities, mental health services, how to navigate the Boston School Lottery, where to find dog parks… They treated us as a unit who can avail help as such, not just the student themselves.”
Available Resources
Daycare at HBS is the one well-established resource. There are seven in the Harvard ecosystem, with two on campus — the most well-known being at SFP. While Strategy is a fall semester course for RCs, the first time a student parent will encounter the mechanics of the supply curve is with daycare. The cost of daycare is approximately $35,000 to 40,000 a year or $3,000 to $4,000 a month, likened to the cost of a mortgage in Connecticut or a month’s rent. Additionally, finding spots in daycare is a challenge. Despite applying for daycare after starting school in August, Dania is still on the waitlist. With her mom leaving in mid-March, she needs a solution soon. Her alternative is a website like Care.com, for which HBS provides a discount code that students can use.
The cost of daycare brings up the vital question of financial support for parents. Daycare is not considered in the financial aid form; there is a separate scholarship for daycare, “which is tough to find, poorly publicized, and covers a month of daycare at most, with a maximum of $5,000 per year. Most parents I know got between $3,000 and $4,000.”
“I’m not sure how well financial aid really accounts for your little kid as a dependent, and the smaller hidden costs of having a kid, like needing a bigger house,” Victoria, mom to two-year-old Finn, says. “All this adds to the cost of the MBA a parent has to consider.”
Where Does the Case Method Fail You?
“You can’t do it all” is the first advice you’re given when you join HBS. “You have to pick.”
At the top of the rotunda of priorities and tradeoffs is academics. Considered a navigable write-off in many other business schools, HBS is known for its academic rigor and mandatory number of in-class hours. Its reputation far precedes it, with 50% percent of students’ grades based on participation. Additionally, because of HBS’ strict no-tech policy, students are away from their phones for up to four hours on a three-case day.
“In my first year of business school, my husband was away on deployment. I was the sole contact in case of emergencies. I told the professors I would use a setting to screen any calls except for from the daycare so I could be available during emergencies. I used this provision once when Chris fell sick at daycare,” shares Molly, mom to two-and-half-year old Chris and a newborn.
“It’s also hard to manage absences for things like doctor’s visits since the schedule for the RC year changes every week. I had to take a lot of excused absences. It was easier in EC year when I had a fixed schedule every week,” says Dania, who was allowed to pick her seat and chose one near the doorway so that she could leave the room when needed during her pregnancy.
In an education system that requires daily attendance, maternity or paternity leave is difficult to navigate, as it means about 10 days of absences and four weeks of remote attendance for mothers, and five days of absences and two weeks of remote attendance for fathers.
“I joined classes at the start of RC spring three weeks postpartum, recovering from a C-section. At that point, deciding even what to wear was a challenge. It’s hard to leave a newborn. At most companies, I could have taken about 12 weeks. I could have taken two more weeks of classes via Zoom, though, but I felt with the nature of participation, it's just better to be in class,” says Molly.
While classroom participation is a well-known beast, the other 50% of a student’s grade is seldom discussed: exams, which involve sitting in a room, cranking out a solution for a case for three to five hours. For Dania, this was especially difficult, as her due date fell squarely in the middle of the exams. She reached out to Janelle and Joyce and was told “to try and take as many exams as she could before giving birth,” a sentiment that baffled her. She further asked them what to do if she did go into labor mid-exams and was told that she could wait a few weeks to take the exam, but that she should be done by mid-January, which was the grading deadline.
“What astounded me was the way they said it — with so much grace and empathy — while suggesting a solution lacking in either,” Dania admits. “How can you expect a mom less than a month postpartum to give exams? How would you expect the parent to handle any potential complications at birth?”
She reached out to Professor Truelove, her LEAD professor, requesting to take the exam early. While Truelove was on board, Dania found out that the registrar, rumored to be unsympathetic, blocked her request.
“First semester was rough,” Wes confesses. “I was trying to give my 100%. I’d prioritize my family till 8:30 pm when June fell asleep and then [spent] hours working on cases. I accumulated massive sleep debt, and I used to feel so guilty because I’d come home and meet the best person in the world, and she would be so excited to do things with me, and I’d just be too tired. This semester, I just try to give 50%. I’ve realized the system is not meant to be followed down to a T. I just regret that so many things in our coursework were considered relevant, which, in hindsight, I don’t feel they were.”
Many parents spoke about the academic tradeoff. “I leave home at 7 or 8 am to get a few hours to work because, while I am home, I’m involved with the baby full-time. I’ve missed so many assignment due dates. Very often, I have to choose [between] reading a case and working on recruiting,” Dania admits.
“I never anticipated how much busywork there would be, like searching for numbers in a case instead of learning concepts,” Victoria adds.
The MBA Network You Expect to Find
Most people to whom I’ve ever asked the question of “why an MBA?” have always included “networking” in the answer. In our first week of school, we gathered on the Spangler lawn to receive a letter of the alphabet that, we were told, would define our experience — the kind of HR hazing you could subject ex-professionals to. From the outside, a parent might wonder how much of this social experience, heavily sold to us as one of the biggest takeaways, might apply to them.
“The section was so excited to be a part of my journey,” Dania smiles. “Everyone showed up for the baby shower, brought gifts, and even wrote letters. So many people cooked meals for us through the meal train set up. Even people I’m not close to.”
When asked about his favourite memory during business school, Wes offers, “it was during the section retreat. The guys were playing soccer, and June was keen to play with them. I tried to hold her off the field, but she was so excited, and she ran in. Immediately, everyone stopped and started playing with her. So many good players, including some who had played professionally, [were] all excited to play with a five-year-old.”
Thinking back to her RC year, Molly reflects, “my section mates were incredible. Very often, after Chris was in bed, other section mates would come and babysit. My friends understood that it was easier for me to host events, so we often had wine nights at my place. And when I was able to get away and go for things, everyone was always so excited for me! My husband was away on deployment. If I hadn’t made friends in section, it would have been very lonely. I did a ‘MyTake’ to help people understand what my life was like. Everyday, when classmates would come in at 9:30 am, sleepy-eyed and sometimes hungover, I [would] have been awake for five hours working. I started asking for help very early on. It’s very hard to ask for help, but people are very understanding and very willing to participate. It becomes a bonding experience. I didn’t go into HBS expecting to have a second kid. When I found out I was pregnant, some of my section friends were amongst the first people I told.”
Socializing in business school is often a logistical nightmare — as a parent, doubly so. Several social and club events are between five and eight at night, which is also dinner and bedtime for kids. Section retreat is organized at the discretion of the section government and may not be easily accessible or very kid-friendly.
“It might not be safe to leave kids alone in the room at night, so then parents miss out on any evening events. There are so many social events [that] are not accessible to us as parents, yet we pay the same section dues. There is a family rep, of course, but they also have kids and are too caught up to be more involved,” one parent shares.
When your daily social life includes at least 90 people, there is a tendency to make snap judgements. Many parents spoke about perceptions — assumptions made on their availability to participate in an event or their interests.
“You have to make your identity as a mom. There are some parents who want to spend more time at home and some who would like to go out when the chance is afforded to them. There’s no one mom identity,” Molly clarifies. “I wish there was a way to say, ‘no I can’t make it this time, but please remember me next time!’”
Is there a problem with the way sections are arranged? Should more parents be grouped together? Dania wishes there were another mom in her section. Victoria is grateful that there are two moms in hers, as they have a built-in understanding of her situation. Should support be sacrificed for diversity in the classroom?
The broader Harvard campus tries to foster community for partners and kids. Crimson Parents, an HBS parents group, organizes arts and crafts events, story time, music, and several other activities for parents and children. MoMBAs, a club for student mothers, has a once-a-month meetup.
“It’s lovely that there are so many opportunities to keep kids involved in the experience as well, like the Halloween Parade and the Dean’s Tree-Lighting for Christmas,” Beirne, dad to two-year old twins, highlights.
“I do still feel like there must be people who slip through the cracks,” Victoria voices.
Crimson Parents, for example, caters more to stay-at-home or part-time partners, with several of their events happening during the day.
“I feel like, very often, the women become friends at these events, and, through them, the dads find a group as well. So you’re just a little more left out as a student mom. Consequently, we don’t even go to events at times [that] work just because we don’t know as many people,” a student mom admits.
“I feel we don’t always get a sense of who might be having a tough time and who needs help,” Kate notes.
The MBA Network Built Across Homes
“Instead of retirement communities, why not one for young parents?” jokes Kate.
One of HBS’ distinctive features is its large residential campus. With parents prioritized for the housing lottery, apartment buildings like SFP become hubs for families. Besides the advantage of being able to meet family between classes and immediately at the end of the day without a long commute, it also becomes a community.
“In my hallway, six out of the eight houses on my corridor are young families. It’s so cute to come back home and see kids running around and to know that, two steps out of my door, I can speak to a friend who understands my situation,” Victoria proclaims.
With so many children around the same age, a lot of “little friendships” are formed. The SFP playroom is a central hub for relationships of all ages, and the lounge is a venue for many kids’ Saturday and Sunday morning birthday parties.
“There’s a scooter club where the kids scoot around in the parking lot. It’s so adorable to see!”
“One of our favorite winter [activities] is running through the tunnels.”
“I love the stroller walks I go on with other moms.”
This campus is so much more than just a place for an MBA. It also bears the distinction of being home to many children, and, in some cases, the first home they’ve ever known.
“It’s been amazing seeing the twins become toddlers here. When they first came, they’d just started walking, and now they’re climbing on things in the playground,” Beirne states with pride.
“It’s so lovely to have a name card for Baby Fady. Both Adnan and I have one, and now Fady does too,” remarks Dania.
“HBS has become so much more than Wes’ degree. It’s become the place June started kindergarten, where we made so many friends as a family,” reflects Kate.
“I’m excited to walk across the stage at graduation with my kids and my husband,” Molly shares.
Coming off a class about Japan and population decline, Wes jokes, “why not start fixing the problem here, with more kids at HBS?”
Why not, indeed? When asked about their goals, so many people start at home with the desire to be a good parent or good partner.
“I feel like a lot of other institutions pit education against family. I feel like, at HBS, it’s not a competition for Wes’ time. We’re all along for the journey together.” Kate says gratefully.
Ramya Vijayram (MBA '26) is originally from Chennai, India. She graduated from the Indian Institute of Technology, Madras, with a Bachelor’s and Master’s in Biotechnology. Prior to the Harvard MBA, Ramya worked at Warburg Pincus in Mumbai, India, and McKinsey and Co. in India.
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