Danielle Mitalipov (MBA ’25) offers advice to conflicted MBA students in Issue No. 3.
This marks the third edition of the Harbus advice column, MitaliPOV, where we answer anonymous questions on topics ranging from career woes to romantic dilemmas. Creative liberties are taken with student signatures, but otherwise these queries are directly from HBS students!
“How can I balance socializing while also resting and taking care of myself?” – Sapped from Socializing
Dear Sapped,
MBA programs have exhausting moments for even the most energetic extroverts! For introverts like myself, and perhaps like you, it can be downright overwhelming – some days, just going to Aldrich might feel like a whirlwind of social interaction. When you find yourself spacing out during the last few minutes of class to scheme about making a beeline for home without being roped into conversation, you are long past due for a break. Yet ironically, it’s often when we feel most drained that we erase self care from our to-do lists, resulting in a vicious cycle of burnout. I’m glad you’re thinking about how to break this negative feedback loop!
It can be helpful to first think about what self care looks like for you, keeping in mind that there are different kinds! What gives you energy? What makes you calm? What activities help you enter that sought-after “flow state” that stops your mind from buzzing about cases and social obligations for an hour or two? Once you’ve come up with a list, the next step is to carve out some space for them in your busy schedule – ideally every day, if only for half an hour. At first, the productive future business leader in you might resist this mandate, asking hard-hitting questions like: Why read a novel when I can read another case instead? Do I have to go do yoga now? Doesn’t building a model count as exercise for, like, my brain and fingers? Ignore this voice – it’s more than happy to ignore the part of you that needs rest, after all. Put your phone in “do not disturb” mode (and ideally place it in another room), then get to relaxing! Once you’re done, you’ll likely find that whatever urgent action items you were ruminating on seem, well, less urgent. But you need to find an internship! the voice might insist, but it will be whinier and easier to roll your eyes at. You might even find you’d rather go to sleep than crank out another job application.
To answer your question about balancing self-care with socializing, I’d encourage you to reflect on whether these categories have any overlap for you! While alone time is healthy (and, I’d argue, necessary), humans are social creatures, and spending time with others can be a great way to not only unwind but also discover ourselves, paradoxical as that might seem. As the essayist Anaïs Nin famously wrote, “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” What kinds of social activity leave you feeling like a new world has been born? If you find parties tiring, maybe smaller social gatherings like board game nights, movie outings, and hiking trips are more your speed. You can also spend time with people one-on-one – one of my favorite memories from RC year was going on a socially distanced walk around Cambridge with a classmate as we both recovered from COVID. After five delirious days of isolation and Zoom classes, it was a powerful reminder of just how important human connection is for homebodies and social butterflies alike.
Danielle Mitalipov (MBA ‘25) is an RC interested in biotech and climate technology. She is a Student Sustainability Associate (SSA) and writes for both the Harbus and the HBS Show. Prior to HBS, she studied philosophy at Stanford University, and led merchandising for a global brand at adidas. Outside of school, she is usually making progress on her ever-growing reading list or watching the latest release at the Coolidge Corner Theater.
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