“It's been a helpful reminder for me in all aspects of my life, that I don't have to have one coherent narrative or story about myself in any regard.”
Between Two Classes is an interview series where we explore the diverse worldviews of our HBS classmates.
This interview is with Byrne Fahey (MBA ’25). Originally from Princeton, New Jersey, Byrne studied English at the University of Pennsylvania. After graduating, she began her career in New York at Milk Bar, working closely with CEO and Founder Christina Tosi across various operating roles. After nearly three years there, she transitioned to Harry’s, where she worked for Harry’s Labs, their in-house ventures and incubation team. Most recently, Byrne spent her past summer as a management consultant at Bain in Boston.
What is your idea of happiness and how has it developed over time?
Fahey: I believe that happiness is being surrounded by a community of people you love; spending time with them, doing things that you enjoy and are passionate about, and having fun. And hopefully making a small impact on the people and places around you.
I think it's taken me some time to get there. Earlier in my life, I felt much more motivated by external benchmarks of success. My happiness was really about whether or not I was achieving those metrics of success. For example, I grew up in Princeton, New Jersey, which is a super academic community. There was a lot of pressure to achieve academically. That kind of became my whole being: striving to perform at school, get good grades and get into a good college. But when I got to college, I realized there was a lot more to think about. I started to embrace trying to figure out what I was passionate about and following that. That led me to spend a lot more time cooking and exploring food, because food is one thing I'm really passionate about. It led me to spend more time running and being in nature, which has become another passion of mine.
The way I think about it now, happiness is the idea of achieving both ‘moss’ and ‘boss,’ or ‘moss boss.’ Earlier in life, the idea of being a ‘boss’ really resonated with me. There was this whole girl boss culture on the internet of ambitious women in business. And there's a part of me that really wants to be a boss and be powerful, have impact, wear a cute little blazer and go to a corporate office. But then I saw this funny meme a few years ago that said something like ‘I don't want to be a boss bitch, I just want to be a moss bitch.’ And it was a joke about wanting to be a little bit lazy and lay around in the moss. But it resonated with me because I love being outdoors, and there’s a lot of value to slowing down and appreciating the smaller things instead of always striving for the next measure of success. And so over time I’ve come to think of being ‘mossy’ as leaning into your passions and spending time with people you love, without worrying so much about the end result.
There are downsides to both approaches. If you're 'bossy,' you might make a big impact, but maybe it’s overly focused on money, status, or power. Whereas if you're 'mossy,' you can enjoy yourself, but it might be a little indulgent. What I'm striving for now is finding the overlap between those two, which is 'Moss Boss.' I've been talking to a lot of classmates about this idea. I’d love to know what everyone's 'Moss Boss' dream is. I think everyone has a 'boss' dream – like being a CEO or founding a company. And then there's a 'moss' dream – what you’d do for pure enjoyment if you didn’t have to provide for yourself or anyone else. I believe there's a way to merge those two dreams, and I want to know what that looks like. ‘Moss Boss’ has helped me articulate the tension I was feeling about the career path I wanted to pursue and how I wanted to spend my time. It’s enabled me to value both aspects of myself and recognize that each is worth pursuing.
I love it. You should trademark ‘Moss Boss.’ Other than the moss meme, what book, movie, or piece of art has had a meaningful impact on you and why?
Fahey: There’s a book called The Stoic Challenge. Most of the time when I read a self help book, I don’t actually do anything to better myself. But this one did fundamentally change how I think about navigating the day to day.
It’s about the philosophy of Stoicism. I used to think being stoic was suppressing or not having emotions, like being a rock. It wasn’t an idea that jived with me because I am an emotional person. I cry all the time, sometimes even during sappy commercials! And I think there's a lot of value to being vulnerable and showing your emotions. But this book reframed stoicism for me as not necessarily suppressing emotions, but as focusing on what you can and can’t control. For example, if your flight is delayed, and it’s truly out of your control due to weather or the airline, it can be infuriating. You can really rile yourself up and be mad about it. The stoic response would be to say ‘OK, the flight is out of my control. Instead of sending all my angry energy towards getting mad about it, I'm going to put this angry energy towards booking my new flight or rearranging my plans.’
Even though I'm not necessarily very good at this, I think it's been really applicable. When I do have something come up, it's made me think about what I have control over and how I can channel my energy towards that. As well as what I don't have control over and how I can let that go.
What belief, behavior, or habit has most improved your life?
Fahey: One is journaling. I journal in different formats: I have a diary, Word docs, notes on my phone. It’s all fragmented. The idea isn’t to have one cohesive document, but just to capture my thoughts. It’s more about the practice than the record. Journaling has become my way of cataloging each day and processing it. So if I have a hard day or even a really good day, I'll quickly jot down what I'm feeling. Over time it's become second nature to me. It’s helped me get in touch with myself, figure out what I want and need, and determine how to move forward after hard things. If you opened my iPhone notes folder you'd think I’m insane. I think there's five thousand notes in there.
The other habit is getting outside. In adulthood you have to seek it out, especially if you're working in an office. I’ve found it’s the single best thing I can do for my mental health: spending an hour outside and touching some grass, seeing a tree, looking up.
If you could have dinner with three people, who would they be and why?
Fahey: The first one would be Grandma Gatewood. Her real name is Emma Gatewood. She was the first woman to solo hike the Appalachian Trail, which is a trail over two thousand miles from Georgia to Maine. And she did it when she was sixty seven years old. She had a lot going on. She had eleven children and was escaping an abusive marriage. She did this in the 1950’s, way before this was a commonplace thing to do. She didn’t have any real camping gear, just a denim knapsack she sewed herself. I love hiking and backpacking, and hiking the Appalachian Trail has been a dream of mine for a really long time. I ended up doing half of it right before HBS, and I hope to do the whole thing eventually. But I have every little resource at my disposal. There are so many blogs and websites and podcasts that cover it. There's all this ultra-light gear now. She just kicked ass and did it out of pure determination with none of that.
The next person is Joanne Chang, who is the founder of Flour Bakery here in Boston. I've had a crush on her for so long. I spent a summer in Boston during high school and that was when I first learned about Flour and Joanne. I've wanted to open a restaurant since. When I was in college, figuring out what to do next, I sat down and Googled people I admired and how they got to where they were. And I looked up Joanne Chang. It said she studied business and did management consulting. So I was like great, maybe I should consider doing that! I really admire Flour – the restaurant business is so hard and their product is amazing.
The last person – an easy one – would be Taylor Swift. I’m a huge Swiftie. I grew up with her. Coming to HBS and learning more about business has made me respect her not just as a musician but also as a businesswoman. She’s at the top of her game from a business standpoint, but the thing she is the most passionate about is singing and songwriting, making art. I feel like she doesn't really let anyone know the real her. So I'd love to crack her open a little bit.
What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
Fahey: Something my partner says to me when I am stressed about something silly is that we don't deal in absolutes. I can sometimes think in extremes or over-evaluate things in both the negative and the positive. I can have a great day and think ‘wow, I’m really crushing it,’ or make one mistake and think ‘oh my god, everything is ruined.’ Even when applying to business school, there's this pressure to have a clear thesis of who you are, what you stand for, how you got here, and where you’re going. But that doesn't really account for ‘I tried this thing but didn't like it, so I decided not to do that. And I became friends with this person but then we had a terrible falling out.’ The erratic things that happen in your life that don't fit neatly and tidily into the box of who you are can be challenging for me. So I like this idea of not dealing in absolutes because it’s been a helpful reminder for me in all aspects of my life, that I don't have to have one coherent narrative or story about myself in any regard.
The other piece of advice is close to my heart. And it is just ‘have fun.’ My mom passed away right before I came to HBS. She had ALS. She was sick for three years and it was tremendously hard. Towards the end of her life, she had lost her ability to speak. And so she was basically communicating by typing into a notes app on an iPad. It was very labor intensive for her to communicate because everything had to be written out and she was losing mobility in her arms and hands. She had this incredible way of conveying humor and meaning with just a few words because it was just not worth typing out much more.
It was actually pretty unexpected for me the day that she died. I knew that she wasn't doing well. I knew that it might be soon, but I had no clue it was going to be that week. And I wasn't there. I had gone to see her and then I was headed out to see the Taylor Swift Eras tour with my closest friends from growing up. The very last thing I remember my mom typing out to me before she passed was just ‘have fun.’ And I think that it's the best possible thing that she could have said to me. It totally encapsulates who she was as a person, which was someone who made the most of life in terms of experiences and travel and friendships. And she loved to have fun. It’s been the best piece of advice for me to carry with me here at HBS because it can be a very intimidating place. People are so driven. And on the one hand it makes me want to be a boss. It makes me want to start a business or strive for whatever the best possible version of my career could be. But my mom has been the best reminder that at the end of the day, what matters most to me is the people I'm spending time with, and finding some humor in the day to day. And if you can't do that, then it's not really worth it.
Jay Bhandari (MBA ’25) is originally from Houston, Texas. He graduated from Georgetown University in 2018 with a degree in Economics. Prior to HBS, Jay served as Chief of Staff at thredUP in San Francisco, and as an Investment Associate in New York at Blackstone.
Sam Berube (MBA ’25) is originally from Dover, Massachusetts. He graduated from Brown University in 2019 with a degree in International & Comparative Political Science. Prior to HBS, Sam worked in corporate strategy at McDonald's in Chicago, and for BCG in Boston.
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