Dear Harby

Harvard University

Dear Harby, As cuffing season continues, I yearn for romance. But what my heart desires, my student debt cannot support. How can I ask out my fellow HBSers and treat them to the level of bougieness they deserve and require without breaking the bank? Sincerely, Too Broke to Tinder Dear “Too Broke,” I understand your… Continue reading Dear Harby

Dear Harby

Dear Harby, I’m an RC taking a break from freaking the living f**k out about my FIN midterm to ask you about something that’s been bothering me: we do all these cases, have all these discussions, and drink all this alcohol with strangers-we-pretend-are-friends, but I’m not sure I’ve begun developing the technical knowledge necessary to… Continue reading Dear Harby

Published
Categorized as The Harbush

Department of Operations Implements Project Room Fees Spangler Grille to Become Room Time Trading Floor

Spangler Hall – The Department of Operations’ Room Reservations Office said Thursday that it will be implementing per-quarter-hour fees for project room use, responding to student complaints that there’s never a quiet spot to make a phone call when you goddam need one. “This will ensure an equitable distribution of project room resources at a… Continue reading Department of Operations Implements Project Room Fees Spangler Grille to Become Room Time Trading Floor

Dear Harby

  Dear Harby, I came in wanted a run-of-the-mill job in general management, but now I seemed to have caught the finance bug from all the company presentations put on by CPD. Should I be an investment banker? -Wondering in One Western Dear Wondering, Lots of people are attracted to Investment Banking. There are the… Continue reading Dear Harby

Harvard Endowment posts record returns driven by selling short an index of Harvard Innovation Lab start-ups

  Following its humiliating loss of almost $2 billion in value last year, the Harvard Management Company announced that over the past six months alone, it had generated returns in excess of 30% — or $11 billion — prompting spontaneous and wide-spread celebrations across campus. “I chalk our newfound success to a fundamental change in… Continue reading Harvard Endowment posts record returns driven by selling short an index of Harvard Innovation Lab start-ups

HBS to Improve Classrooms with new First and Business Class Seating

HBS to Improve Aldrich Classrooms with new First and Business Class Seating To better reflect to HBS’s impressive range of wealth inequality, MBA program chair Felix Oberholzer-Gee announced a massive renovation of Aldrich Hall this summer to install new First and Business Class seating. In addition to boosting revenue for the school, the seating is… Continue reading HBS to Improve Classrooms with new First and Business Class Seating

Profile in Courage: Scribe maintains steely objectivity throughout duration of section cat-fight.

Demonstrating extreme professionalism that reflected her high level of training, section scribe Rosemary McDougle maintained a completely placid exterior as she transcribed extended, and indeed indulgent LCA comments between local section enemies Janet Johanson and Mary Fernandez. “I completely disagree with what Mary just said and find her suggestion not only dangerous but wrong,” McDougle… Continue reading Profile in Courage: Scribe maintains steely objectivity throughout duration of section cat-fight.

With Boastful Introductory Email, FGI Team Sets Emerging Market Company Up for Massive Disappointment

“Alright guys, let’s have our first slide focus on our educational backgrounds,” RC Student Brian Dorkin said to his Ghana-destined FGI team as he copied various Ivy League University shields into a meticulously formatted powerpoint slide. “Yeah, then we can list out special skills!” added Susan Goodensorri taking over another part of the shared google… Continue reading With Boastful Introductory Email, FGI Team Sets Emerging Market Company Up for Massive Disappointment

Case Writers Thoughtfully Add and Extra Pages to Every Spring Term RC Case

Citing high student demand for deeper historical background on start-ups, lengthy block quotes from minor case protagonists, and even the minutia on precisely which windows the protagonist is staring out of at the start of a case, head case writer Benedict Cumbersome led his team to increase spring term cases by 25%. “Not that recruiting… Continue reading Case Writers Thoughtfully Add and Extra Pages to Every Spring Term RC Case

HBS Admissions Department to Require All Applicants to Submit Social Media Passwords

In a landmark decision, Harvard Business School’s admissions department has announced that, beginning next fall, all applicants will be required to submit their social media passwords to be considered for the full-time MBA program. Admissions Director Chad Losee shared the thinking behind the change. “It was daunting to fill Dee Leopold’s shoes this year; the… Continue reading HBS Admissions Department to Require All Applicants to Submit Social Media Passwords

Record number of HBS EC flock to Public Service, Seeking Lucrative Careers in the Trump White House

At a time when many White House positions remain unfilled, a record number of students in the HBS MBA Class of 2017 have descended on Washington to seek their fortune by serving our patriotic, fairly-elected, and proportionally-handed President, Donald Jennifer Trump. Below is a profile of just a few stand-out students and the position they… Continue reading Record number of HBS EC flock to Public Service, Seeking Lucrative Careers in the Trump White House

Leaked Email Scandal: HBS assigns RC Seating to Maximize Sexual Tension

Shockwaves rippled across the social fabric of campus as hacked emails from Dillon House this week revealed that fall RC section seating assignments in Aldrich Hall were made with the explicit intent of putting future section mates adjacent to peers with whom they would have the highest predicted level of sexual tension. The initiative, operating… Continue reading Leaked Email Scandal: HBS assigns RC Seating to Maximize Sexual Tension

Guy Fieri to Open Restaurant in Spangler

On Friday, HBS announced that it had concluded its yearlong search for a celebrity chef to partner with on a new on-campus dining establishment specifically geared towards the needs of business school students. Beating out other finalists such as Bobby Flay, Giada De Laurentiis, and Wolfgang Puck was the star of the Food Network television… Continue reading Guy Fieri to Open Restaurant in Spangler