April Fools

Six-Month Dean Search Ends with New Hire

Introducing Nitin Nohria.

After an exhaustive six-month search, the HBS Dean Search Advisory Committee  announced Friday the successor to Dean Nitin Nohria: Nitin Nohria.

“Honestly, his resume just stood out,” said search committee member Professor Matt Weinzierl. “We used blind resumes, of course, to remove any bias we may have had, so we didn’t realize it was Nitin—it could have been any current Dean of HBS. But his combination of work experience and gripping personal essays—‘Seven Habits of Highly Successful Deans’ and ‘The Case Method from Amazon to amaZon’—just blew away the competition.”

“Like any hiring or admissions committee, we focused entirely on two factors: prior experience and extensively demonstrated track record of loyalty to your potential future job. Do you know how hard it is to find someone who not only has experience being Dean at the top ranked business school in the world (in 2017), but also has strong family ties to Allston? When we first read that resume, we just blacked out for a second and hit accept,” said search committee member Professor Francesca Gino. “It was a unanimous—we gave the job to Applicant #32.”

Students seemed shaken by the news and expressed some strong opinions on the hire when interviewed. “Oh, Nitin is sticking around?” said EC Zach Keeling, with well-concealed passion. “That’s cool.”

 “Glad he landed on his feet,” added EC Ed Arthy, unable to process the news quickly enough to show the emotion no doubt coursing through him. “Can you put down that microphone and stop blocking the door to the steam room?”

At time of publishing, it appears Nohria had dropped his resume for “HBS Dean” accidentally while attempting to apply to the High-End Boats Society through 12Twenty.


March 31, 2020
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