April Fools

Selected Restaurant Associates Yelp Reviews, Republished

“10/10. Big fan. I’ve been going to this place since it opened. Great for a quick snack, sit-down meal, or even special occasions. The curtains make it seem fancy, but it’s really more of a neighborhood gem. Case in point: seems like I run into someone I know every time I go!”

-Jantastic4@hotmail.com Sept 2019


“7/10. Super convenient for where I live, so I want to love it, but … just one thing: I wish they took reservations. 12:10pm everyday and this place is a circus. I tried to call ahead 30 minutes before I showed up and they were like ‘pretty sure you shouldn’t be using your phone right now.’ Super weird.”

-Sh4d_is_r4d@gmail.com Oct 2019


“1/5 boo no delivery lol wut”

-GallatinGal1@gmail.com Oct 2019


“5/10. Posting this here because it’s our duty to speak truth to power and we have tried literally everything else. We represent the voice of the people and this is our manifesto: this disgrace to properly optimized process flows MUST be ended! The takt time CAN be improved! The bottlenecks WILL be defeated. Seriously though, set up some time with us—we’re pretty good at this stuff.”

-TOM@hbs.edu Dec 2019


“11/10. I ate duck confit with candied orange peel here today. In what is, let’s be honest, a cafeteria with chandeliers in it. That’s a true statement, not a satirical joke, and no one seems to find that amazing except me.”

-Smittenwithnitin78435@mac.com Jan 2020


“Where did everybody go?”

– [Anonymous] Mar 2020

March 31, 2020
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