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Spring melts snow, revealing hundreds of dead, frozen bunnies

Harbus Logo[stag_dropcap font_size=”50px” style=”normal”]S[/stag_dropcap]tudents who spent the winter jokingly asking ‘where did the campus bunnies go?’ have had their question answered in a most grisly way by the melting snow, which has revealed the frozen corpses of hundreds of bunnies.

Students who assumed the campus’ cute critters had spent the winter like the students had – hibernating in burrows or migrating to more tropical climes – were rudely awakened to the reality of the situation.

One student described the scene on the Baker lawns as looking, “as though someone took every Canada Goose coat at HBS, ripped off the bunniestupid pretentious fur bits, and threw them everywhere.”

To avoid horrifying visitors on campus, HBS operations staff have been working around the clock to clear the bunny bodies.

[stag_dropcap font_size=”50px” style=”normal”]A[/stag_dropcap]s a result, the school has promised that the campus will be completely repopulated by the end of Spring.

“Believe it or not, this happens every year,” said an administration spokesperson, “the bunnies are frozen in the winter, and then replaced by bunnies we breed in the tunnels near Shad.”

“Sure, it seems fanciful and wasteful,” she continued, “but do you really think we wouldn’t spend money on this? As long as we’ve got money to fly the entire RC class for January ‘working’ holidays in the developing world, we’ve got money to raise hundreds of purebred European rabbits in the tunnels.”

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April 1, 2015
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