Secret tunnel to Wall Street discovered under HBS

Harbus LogoThe fact that many HBS graduates wind up working on Wall Street is much discussed, but The Harbus has discovered a potential cause of this phenomenon that is rarely mentioned: a secret tunnel that runs from the HBS tunnels all the way to Wall Street.

Around 20% of the graduating HBS Class of 2014 found themselves working on or around Wall Street, a number that is only slightly down from its pre-financial crisis peak.

The secret tunnel was brought to The Harbus’ attention by an EC student, who requested that we withhold their name.

“I was taking a late night stroll to buy a frozen, microwavable pizza from the vending machine under Morris,” they told The Harbus, “when I noticed a small doorway under a heating pipe. I turned the handle and noticed a dollar bill on the floor. A little further on, I saw another. I just followed the money, and suddenly I found myself on Wall Street.”

“When I came to HBS, I planned to build a startup that donated a home to refugees every time someone booked a pointless long weekend junket to Jamaica,” they said. “But by the time I realized how much money there was on the path at Wall Street, I suddenly developed a set of weird political views about how ensuring the efficient allocation of capital is itself really the highest form of social enterprise.”

Despite The Harbus having confirmed the tunnel’s existence, members of the HBS community remain skeptical.

“This tunnel conspiracy theory is too far-fetched,” said one anonymous faculty member, “it’s far more likely that no matter how many LCA classes some people sit through, they’re just not going to pass up the chance to engineer this country’s next financial crisis!”

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