The school year’s coming to a close and you’ve probably seen most of the big hits and misses: The Hunger Games, Twilight (I’m judging you), Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol, etc.
So this list isn’t meant to rehash how incredible The Artist was, how surprisingly boring J. Edgar turned out to be, or how Adam Sandler and Al Pacino’s careers may never recover from the release of Jack & Jill.
Instead, the below are a few films you may not have seen (except 21 Jump Street… if you haven’t seen that yet, you’ve been taking the tunnels too much), but should check out the next time you’re browsing iTunes.
Best Movie to Turn Off When You’re Mom Walks In the Room: Shame
*If this is an issue for you, please consider the real problem: you still live with your mom.*
The trifecta of awesomeness, Michael Fassbender, Carey Mulligan and director Steve McQueen, team up for this NC-17 drama about the turbulent relationship between a sex addict and his troubled sister. Disturbing on multiple levels but beautifully filmed and excellently acted. Probably would’ve garnered an Oscar nod if the Academy wasn’t so prude.
Best Movie(s) for People Who Hate Children: Friends With Kids & Young Adult
Children terrify me so I’m giving you a two-for-one as proof that they terrify other people too. The first is written by Don Draper’s real-life gal pal and features performances by Jon Hamm himself as well as basically everyone who’s ever been on SNL. The second film stars Charlize Theron as a chic-lit writing, man-eating, baby-loathing pessimist. Ah, finally a protagonist for awful people.
Best Movie for Psychopaths and 80’s Rock Lovers: Drive
When I went to see this movie, the person I went with walked out in the middle and threw up. I, on the other hand, felt that watching Ryan Gosling as a stoic getaway driver who becomes entangled in a botched heist, was some of the best filmmaking of the year. So, Buyer Beware: you’ll either want to have this film’s baby… or you’ll vomit.
Best Movie for Stalkers of “The Tatum”: 21 Jump Street
This year, ‘The Artist formally known as Channing Tatum’ has been popping out movies like there’s no tomorrow. This may be news to you because most of them either sucked (Son of No One) or made you want to die inside (The Vow).
But it looks like teaming up with Jonah Hill, Ice Cube and James Franco’s lil bro have finally given CT a bona fide winner. I was hoping Channing could keep up the momentum, but then I found out he’s playing a stripper named “Magic Mike” in his next movie. Yay.
Best Movie for People Who Prefer Movies Over Fresh Air: Warrior
If I could curse in this article, I would. This film is that good. Damn (there we go). Unresolved family drama, Catholic guilt, cage fighting, Tom Hardy without a shirt. I mean, c’mon, Nick Nolte was so incredible that the Academy forgot about his infamous mug shot and gave him a third Oscar nomination. This is The Fighter on crack. And heroin. How can something so wrong feel so right?