HBS Rugby Team Membership to Replace FIELD? [Satire]

The heated debate amongst HBS faculty as to whether membership in the HBS rugby club should replace FIELD as a compulsory RC requirement continues unabated.

Proponents of rugby’s inclusion in the curriculum point to the team’s recent outstanding performances: notably their 2nd place finish in the World MBA Rugby Championship at Duke in April last year, beating out teams such as London Business School, Insead, Stanford and the socially-awkward lads from Wharton. Their only loss came in the hard fought final with Smurfit, a team largely consisting of Leprechauns, from Dublin, Ireland.

Rugby’s lobbyists have also cited the passionate, back and forth, case study-like debates that the team facilitates – most pressingly, as to whether Matt Lesniak or Tom Humphrey has the more luscious flowing blonde hair.

Advanced feedback tools such as repeatedly yelling “Pass me the damn ball” have been swiftly mastered by team members, and the Churchillian leadership of club presidents, Tom Masterson and Regan Turner, has had people suggesting that after being on the rugby team, “LEAD is kind of redundant”. Rugby’s advocates have also pointed out that the team’s regular hangout, Tommy Doyle’s, is far more of an emerging market than most FIELD II destinations.

The team’s credentials were back on display again on Saturday when the HBS team played one of the traditional giants of New England Rugby, Framingham. The season opener saw several old timers back on the field, including Bob “Sheila” Evans and Shwan “Greased Lightning” Kazzaz.

In a result that has shockwaves through the greater Alston rugby community, HBS destroyed Framingham 55-10. More impressively, the game saw the blooding of several new players who were picked up in the recent “I had my arm twisted into playing at 1am at the Kong” draft. Pedro “Just tell me who to hit” Noyola, Zack “Zack” Simmons and Gunnar “The German Freight Train” Ulrich all left the Framingham players physically and emotionally crushed. The adoring crowd, led by Erika “I am here to watch the gunshow” Olson, watched as the HBS team ran in 9 tries to 1.

To settle the “FIELD v.s. Rugby” controversy once and for all, the Rugby team is playing an exhibition match THIS FRIDAY (9/21) at Harvard Stadium against arch rivals Columbia Business School.

The entire school is invited to this SA-sponsored TGIF event to enjoy free beer and watch the likes of Michael “The 6th Force” Porter, Sid “Danger” Palani and Arthur “The New Guy” Heilbronn. Rumors that attendance will count towards RC students’ FIELD grades are yet to be confirmed but a huge turnout is expected nonetheless.

September 12, 2012
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