Features

Married at HBS

Old fashioned coupleThere are a lot of misconceptions about married people at HBS. I know this because, as a married person, I often feel judged. I also know this because, as a person who was single in the past, I still judge married people.

What follows is an attempted de-bunking of five common myths about married’s.

1)      Married students are boring

By now, RCs know who in the Section is single, who is committed (at least until Thanksgiving), and who is married. My mother once said that, unless you were trying to date someone replica breitling, his relationship status and even sexual orientation were none of your business. But that, like the Tooth Fairy, was a lie. We ID the people who don’t have partners on campus because they’re fun. They have the embarrassing hookups that provide weeks of Skydeck material. They’re still willing to go to clubs. They don’t want to go home at 9:30 on Friday night to watch TiVo. And sometimes married people don’t either. So give us a break. Because, come December, we’ll make the best wingmen.

2)     Married students are religious

Yes, there are blocks of married students on campus for whom religion is a big deal. And there are also those of us who were married by judges, Internet-ordained college buddies, or Elvis impersonators. Personally, God wasn’t part of my courtship, and premarital sex was. A lot of us got married for things like true love, tax advantages, and insurance coverage.

3)     Married students are male

By the numbers, the vast majority of married students are male. But there are a good number of married women on campus. It seems to surprise people that young, married women can be HBS-level ambitious, or that we’d do things as scandalous as play on a beer pong team with a man who isn’t our husband. But it’s a pretty crappy feeling to have a (usually male) classmate look at me and say, with a mixture of shock and horror, “Wait. You’re married?” So please, people, filter.

4)     Married students have and/or want babies replica watches uk

I have nothing but respect for our classmates who are parents. That is serious business and, frankly, although they are both good reasons to be at home instead of at the Hong Kong, having a baby is about a thousand times harder than having a partner around here. Which is why I will do the latter but not the former. You couldn’t pay me enough to have a baby in B-school. Please don’t equate marriage with kids. I don’t anymore.

5)     Married students’ lives are more predictable than single students’ lives

Remember that saying: “study, sleep, socialize. Pick two”? For married students, the list is: study, sleep, socialize, spouse; and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I can pick three of those. A lot of friends think that, because I know with whom I want to spend the rest of my life, I must know in which industry, job function, and geography I want to spend it, too. This just isn’t true. I’m just as profoundly lost, career-wise, as I would be without a partner. My schedule is just as thrown by our revolving door of classes as anybody else’s. What I mean is we’re all in this together, and misery loves company. So… is it okay if I bring my plus one?

AUTHOR’S BIOGRAPHY

 Sarah Minkus got married in June. She lives with her husband, Alex, and their dog.

 

 

October 13, 2011
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