Unfinished Business

Old E Sportswire (October 11) – Relaxing in his plush off-campus apartment, OE flag football captain Brandon Gayle is beaming with confidence. Heading into the final weeks of the season, his talented squad is seemingly flying under the radar. “We’re well on our way to being 5-0. And guess what? No one is paying attention, which is just fine by us. They will all kiss the ring soon enough.”

Someone might want to take note of OE. They have racked up impressive victories over ND, OG, NE, and NA to start the season. After four games, OE is averaging 40 points and a margin of victory of 23 points per contest. “This is personal for us,” says defensive stalwart Tom Harmon. “Our goal is not just to win games; it is to destroy every team we face. Anything less is unacceptable.”

Last year OE finished with the best record and margin of victory amongst 1st year sections, only to suffer a heartbreaking one point loss to the eventual league champs in the quarterfinals. They have been on a mission ever since.

“After that loss, we dedicated ourselves to winning it all this year. Lindsay Steinmetz and I have been watching game film, drinking protein shakes, and training 2 hours a day since last November. The ladies of OE are not playing around anymore,” says iron-woman Venus Kennedy-Miller.

Such commitment to taking care of business this time around has been contagious, as everyone came back in tip-top shape this season. Scat wideout Scott Prime proclaimed, “Section E is the home of the Meatheads, so it was only natural that we all got back into the gym this offseason. The result is clear: we’re bigger, tougher, and much better looking than every section at HBS.”

Despite their efforts and results on the field, OE has been repeatedly overlooked in Commissioner Andrew Koch’s weekly league updates. In these updates Koch usually highlights big games from the previous week and upcoming “Games of the week.” While OA, the team Koch captains, has been mentioned in 3 of 4 updates, OE has yet to be mentioned once.

“Some might say, Koch is drinking hater-ade. It is what it is. We’ll see him and OA come playoff time,” reflects OE Senator and stud wide receiver Todd Orenstein.

Yet, others are not so politically correct. All league quarterback Sean Murray has had enough. “We manhandle the NE squad in a great rivalry game during week 3 and Koch highlights a yawner between OC and OH?!? We better start getting some respect, or some heads are going to roll.”

Gayle remains focused on the big picture. “Koch can write whatever he wants. We’re going to keep blowing out the teams he puts in front of us. This is about a championship.nothing else matters to me or my squad. Get your popcorn ready.”

OE continues their march towards the flag football crown this week with their final regular season game against NJ.