Totally Geek to Totally Chic

New E Sportswire (April 8) – “From totally geek to totally chic.”ÿ That’s how Derek Aguirre described his last-second, game-winning shot against New A, sending Section E to the Final Four.ÿ This oft quoted line from “Can’t Buy Me Love”, an 80s classic and staple for all young paramours, doesn’t just apply to Derek Aguirre in real life, it also applies on the basketball court. ÿAguirre’s game winner redeemed a dismal, downright pathetic performance up until that point.ÿ

The drama unfolded with six seconds left:ÿ Down 52 – 51, New A inbounded the ball and passed to a towering and precise Czech, Ondrej Kruk, who banked in what appeared to be a game-winning shot.ÿ

“Prague?ÿ You talking about Prague?” remarked Tom Harmon, E’s Dennis Rodman.ÿ The situation appeared bleak: only two second left, with the full length of the court to go.

Unhesitatingly, co-captain Gui Mercier called timeout.ÿ He already led the team with an impressive double-double but was resolute that Aguirre take the last shot.ÿ “I may have a French accent, but so does Tony Parker. ÿAnd Charles de Gaulle for that matter.”ÿ Just as the wheels were about to fall off from his motivational speech, he quickly rebounded, “Just get the ball to Derek [Aguirre].”ÿ

Some hesitated.ÿ Up until that point, Aguirre was 2 for 12 from the field and clearly didn’t have his sea legs.ÿ

“Basically, you have to ask yourself: ‘do you send Maverick up there just after Goose died?ÿ Can he do it?'” waxed a philosophic Kareem Hall in a post-game moment of clarity.ÿ

Remarked Jon Van Wyck, “Look, I was making it rain out there from the three-point line.ÿ You can count on me to throw down an ‘X’ on the final round of a negotiation.ÿ If I can game theory the hell out of Sofya [Alterman], you know I can make a last-second shot.ÿ But ultimately, there is no one more clutch then Aguirre.”ÿ

Aguirre caught a long pass on the right side of the basket, turned and got off a hideous shot.ÿ “Yikes,” a laconic Greg Highberger would later remark.ÿ The ball bounced awkwardly on the rim three times until miraculously falling in, sealing an improbable 54 – 53 victory for Section E and a trip to the Final Four.ÿ

“I felt a primal emotion.ÿ Not the same as eating eight cheeseburgers, but similar,” beamed a proud Sean Murray.ÿ

“Poppin bottles!” exclaimed a triumphant Brandon Gayle.ÿ “Brown Sugar baby!”
Section E’s next game is scheduled for next week with a specific date and time to be determined.