A few weeks ago, we saw the usual flurry of ECs trying very hard to either find RCs to hand over their leadership positions in various HBS Clubs to, or refereeing fights between RCs all going for the same role. Now that the dust has settled, and it is too late for anyone to actually try and take my tongue-in-cheek advice seriously, I’d like to suggest some alternative Club Leadership Positions that could perhaps have been added to the list.

-VP in charge of sending five emails per day directly to the spam boxes of everyone who misguidedly signed up at the Club Fair

-President of putting grand-sounding titles on job applications

-Assistant Secretary who actually gets everything done

-Executive of External Networking with influential people who will make good contacts next year

-Chief Not Turning Up officer*

-Marketing Director who gets no credit but is constantly bugged about the font color on the posters

-Webmistress of taking a fairly unisex term and making a feminist point that sounds disturbingly sexual

-Anti-Social Director (never plans any parties)

-Co-President of leaving all the work to the other guy but turning up at the conference in a suit and a big nametag

And, while I’m on a related topic, I’ve come up with a few suggestions for alternative HBS Clubs that don’t exist, but maybe should.

Lack of Partners Club
A club for those students careless enough to have arrived at HBS without an adoring and supportive significant other, who therefore are stuck spending all their evenings trying to force down enough tequila shots to get up the confidence to ask someone out.

No Appreciation of Art Society
Yes, there may be a fascinating retrospective of pre-1900 feminist sculpture on at some fancy gallery in Boston, but we’re all going to go watch 10,000BC and then hope to make it home in time to catch Lost.

Lite Beer and Nachos Society
Like the Wine and Cuisine Society, only this won’t help you sound knowledgeable at a business dinner when the client/your boss asks you to pick the wine.

I Still Don’t Understand Finance Club
For pretty much everyone who isn’t in the Finance Club (or the Investment Management Club, or the VC/PE Club. Or the Investment Banking Club. Or the Hedge Fund Appreciation Society. Or Warren Buffet’s Fan Club)

Green and Black Society
For people who like really exclusive, invitation only, organic chocolates.

Young Assistant Managers Organization
For those of us who probably won’t make it into the YPO (Young Presidents Organization) but aspire to hit middle management by the time we’re 40.

International Students for Underwater Competitive Karate
For no reason other than challenging Apple for the rights to the domain name