News

The Last AmeriCanadian: A Final Salute to You!

To the technology wizard extraordinaire…
…Where would we be without you and your glasses, undergraduate computer science courses, and quick learning of the classroom GUI? Well, I’ll tell you where: in some 1980s baby boomer technology hell with a prof who has trouble putting classroom movie screens down, is convinced Eudora is a good email system, and battles to convince us that overhead projectors are still an acceptable method of showing graphs. We count our lucky stars for you every single day.

To the consistent mispronouncer of names…
…Please stop. That’s not my name. You just think it is. For the love of God, go to myHBS. Classcard me. I pronounce my name for you in an easy to find sound clip. Listen to it over and over again. Then come talk to me. I’ll be in Spangler waiting for you. Hi. Say my name. What was that? Dude. The ‘Q’ is silent.

To the Latins…
…who, as the great songwriter Eddie Murphy once said, “party all the time, party all the time, party all the time.” Oh, what a feeling, you’re dancin’ on the ceiling! May you never stop ’til you get enough. HBS is your party and you’ll cry if you want to. Cry, if you want to. Your humps, your lovely lady lumps. Check it out. Rumor. Thursday night. Be there.

To the consultant consultants…
…You were consultants before you got here and you are consultants on your way out. You have membership cards at every hotel chain, have a favorite airport, and are extremely good at using your hands when you speak. We’ll miss seeing your hands when you speak. Those hands, they are something.

To the Trick-Knee Athletes…
…If it wasn’t for your trick knee, you’d surely be in the NFL or NBA right now. You were a benchwarmer on your varsity college team, but you sure cleaned up here. You dominated the courts for at Shad, leading your section to many intramural victories. The winning goal in soccer, the final peg in dodge ball, the big catch in the football game, the drop-spin shot in squash. That was all you. Congratulations on ruling our sea of athletic mediocrity.

To the learning teammates…
…One day, there were six of us. All bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready to optimize our learning intersection. Professionally and personally diverse, discovered through HBS branded algorithmic excellence. Amazing. …Then one of us realized they were smarter then the rest of us. We were just free riders. Good bye. The next day, sleep was more important to another. Peace. A few weeks later, somebody complained about our team dysfunction in a LEAD class, cited several instances of overly-authoritative browbeating and the poor leadership of HBS’ very own students. To that we just want to say, whatever — you were wrong about using an MRP of 7%. Clearly it was 5%! Cry baby. What’s that? Oh, really? I’m outta here. This learning team’s dead anyway.

To the Inappropriate Comment Guy…
…We will miss nervously bracing for your awkward and inappropriate comments. When the class turned toward tougher discussions, we all – somewhat masochistically – looked to you, waiting for you to erupt in an uncensored, unfiltered tirade. You get extra points for class participation, but maybe you don’t get invited to as many dinner parties. That’s a shame, too. Cause nothing makes a dinner party better than a huge, curse-laden rant about abortion.

To the late section arriver…
…You are up doing deals in Singapore ’til 3:00 AM and school was over for you in December of first year. You set five alarms. None of them are loud enough. When you do eventually come to class, you wear a hat to hide those sleepy eyes. You try to sneak in as you walk into the classroom, 5, 10, 35 minutes late, but it never works. You close the door gently, but we all hear it. We just laugh under our breaths and shake our heads. But we respect you for your commitment to never coming on time. It gives us perspective that there is more to life than the value your classmates can add to yours.

To the Lunch Time Is Any Time people…
…We will miss watching you eat that lunch right in the middle of class. You loudly crack open your sushi container and waft out thick wasabi and soy sauce fumes to the surrounding area. We’ll miss your boldness – like when you let a soda bottle loudly fizz open in the quiet moment between comments or when you crunch loudly into a Granny Smith and leave the core browning on your desk ten minutes later. You eat late, you eat early, you smell like fish.

To the quiet guy…
…be quiet.

To the new haircut after Christmas guy…
…Holidazzle was a blast, and then we all left for the holidays. Some went home, others on big trips, but there were a good couple of weeks where the section heartbeat slowed to a crawl while we all went our separate ways. But then! Out of nowhere! You showed up in January with a new ‘do. You shaved your head, died it blonde, or cut it short. We don’t care what anyone says – we like it. Seriously, it looks hot.

To the hungover sectionmate…
… Maybe, and this is just a hunch, but just maybe that last So-Co and lime shot wasn’t such a good idea. Or the Johnnie Walker Black boat race. Or the seventh Scorpion Bowl where no one else was drinking but you. Man, now you reek of alcohol. And you’re sitting next to me. The right frontal lobe of your dome is in excruciating pain and it’s shooting down to your right top molar. And now you’ve found yourself on a three class day that starts at 8:30 AM and the clock never moved more slowly. Please try to tell me that you’ll never drink again so that I can laugh in your face. MWA HA HA HA HA HA! MWA HA HA HA HA! Ha.

To Section OA…
…thank you so much for slaying our faces with joy on a daily basis…

And good night, Harvard Business School. We will never forget these two years. Thank you.

The AmeriCanadian
Anthony and Neil

April 30, 2007
Want to Sponsor The Harbus?

You can sponsor the Harbus website to reach the Harvard Community. Learn more.

RECENT COMMENTS
FlICKR GALLERY
THEMEVAN

We are addicted to WordPress development and provide Easy to using & Shine Looking themes selling on ThemeForest.

Tel : (000) 456-7890
Email : mail@CompanyName.com
Address : NO 86 XX ROAD, XCITY, XCOUNTRY.