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ND vs. OF

Despite falling behind early, ND recovered to beat a shorthanded OF team 55-38 for its first win of the season. Dozens of NuDee faithful showed up to support the pre-season favorites as they kicked off their season Monday afternoon on Court 3 in Shad Hall Gymnasium.

Onlookers were treated to four nasty dunks by ND superstar John “No You Didn’t” Kirkowski, including one two handed throw-down that had the crowd gasping. When asked about the dunk, Kirkowski brushed off all praise saying “I couldn’t have done it without some sick, yet fundamental outlet passes from Charles ‘Straight Lace’ Delacey.”

As usual, Matt “Skip To My” Louie played a flawless game at the point guard position with 0 turnovers, 26 assists and a few timely three pointers. Dave “Big Pern” Alpern came off the bench in the middle of the first half providing some instant offense and sharp elbows down low. However, OF’s superb conditioning and hustle kept the game within reach for most of the first half. ND coach Dave “Bizzle” Battle was not pleased with the first half performance of ND and called for a full court press to open the second half. Sources report that the team adamantly refused due to “lack of conditioning.”

ND appeared to make several halftime adjustments to their zone offense and managed to pass the ball through the zone for some easy buckets. Nico “The Microwave” Iacuzzi broke down the zone with several no-look passes that had OF’s defenders spinning.

Travis “Mad Rise” Merrill, ND’s secret weapon, filled up the stat sheet as usual with a solid double-double. When asked by reporters what the turning point of the game was, Merrill answered, “I just want to thank God. I couldn’t have done it without my teammates.” Reporters left scratching their heads.

ND has several tough matchups against old sections coming up, but the buzz out of ND’s locker room is that the March 28th matchup with OD is already circled. Scott “Sloth” Spieth is reported to be fuming over the nickname that OD gave him the first day of class. Publicly, Spieth commented, “we weren’t too happy about the ‘questionable’ play of OD in our flag football game, so it’s time to settle the score.”

January 31, 2005
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