News

On Campus Interview Series: The Midwestern Marvel

This week’s interview subject is none other than Bruce “Meat” Sutter (OQ). This apotheosis of Midwestern charm hails from Chicago, Illinois, and has made a name for himself on the basketball courts at Shad. H-BS found Bruce in a Spangler project room, waxing eloquently about “da’ Bears” and why Dale Earnhardt is the greatest NASCAR driver ever. We interrupted our Midwesterner’s fascinating excursus to have a Coke and a bit of a chat about his sporting career so far at Harvard.

Fact File: Bruce ‘Meat’ Sutter
Height: 5 feet 10 inches
[Editors note – really 5’8″, but no one
man ever admits he’s 5’8″, unless he’s
actually 5’6″]Weight: 207 pounds
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Black
Marital Status: Nothing serious, but
currently hooking up with a hot BU
undergrad [Editors note – not hot
Harvard undergrad]Favorite Food(s): Polish sausage
Favorite Drink: Capri Sun
Favorite Film: The Lizzie McGuire Movie
Favorite Book: “Satisfaction: The Art of
the Female Orgasm” by Kim Cattrall
Favorite Band: Oingo Boingo
[Editors note – we prefer Mojo Nixon]Nickname: Meat

How Acquired Nickname: This girl gave it to me in high school. I was pretty proud of it until I found out that she’d also given Kent Barrett his nickname “Lefty.” [Editors note – Kent has no left arm] Unfortunately, Meat has stuck with me ever since.

H-BS: What HBS sports team do you represent?
Meat: Old Q B-side intramural basketball team.

H-BS: What position do you play?
Meat: I don’t actually play.

H-BS: What do you mean you don’t play?
Meat: Well, I play when the other 12 people on the team are tired. But they never get tired.

H-BS: So what do you do at games then?
Meat: I keep score.

H-BS: The scorekeeper – what does that entail?
Meat: When someone scores, I record the points.

H-BS: That sounds promising. Please elaborate.
Meat: It’s easier to explain with an example because it’s kinda complicated. Say New T is playing Old Q. And say someone on New T scores. First, I add two points to the manual scoreboard for New T. Then I yell to the bench for New T – “Who scored that?” And then someone on New T yells back his name. For simplicity sake – say the guy’s name is “Kristofer von Magnusson.” So I look on the score sheet for either “Kristofer” or “Magnusson” or “von,” and when I find it, I add two points to his name. Now it might sound simple, but I also have to keep track of points by half. And fouls. And the whole three-pointer concept adds an addition layer of complexity.

H-BS: Tell us about your best scorekeeping moment in Shad?
WS: It was my first full game back in the day when Old Q was New Q. We were playing New Z. And some guy “Tim” from Z hits a three pointer. And while I was changing the scoreboard, this “Sykes” guy from Z stole the in-bounds pass and made an easy layup. And when I went to record the individual points, I was like ‘Holy crap, was it Tim or Sykes who made the “3?” I think it was Tim, but I’m not sure.’ A lesser scorekeeper would’ve just guessed and compromised the integrity of the score sheet. But I’m not a lesser scorekeeper. I totally kept my cool, took a deep breath and asked someone on Z – “Who made the 3-pointer?” They told me it was Tim. And I was like, ‘I thought so but just wanted to make sure.’ So Tim got his three points and Sykes his two. And everyone was happy.

H-BS: And your worst moment?
Meat: This year during Old Q’s game with Old R, I wasn’t paying attention and accidentally gave two points to Old R instead of my own team. The ref blew his whistle at me and said “Hey Meat, you gave the wrong team the points.” I was just so embarrassed I wanted to die. So I started therapy. Now I blame everything on my parents.

H-BS: What’s the biggest challenge of being an athlete at HBS?
Meat: Choosing between seeing speakers like Tom Ridge and my B-side basketball duties.

H-BS: What wins out?
Meat: B-side basketball. I’ve made a commitment to my team to keep score. I can’t let them down. Whose gonna do it if I’m not there? Clint? Steve? Someone on the other team?

H-BS: Calm down Wong. What are the benefits of being a B-side basketball player for Old Q?
Meat: The team tee-shirt. On the front it reads “Old Q is in Da’ Mother F’ing House” and on the back it reads “Eat, Drink and Be Fat and Drunk.” It’s sponsored by Budweiser.

H-BS: Thank you for your time Meat.
Meat: Thank you, H-BS.

February 23, 2004
Want to Sponsor The Harbus?

You can sponsor the Harbus website to reach the Harvard Community. Learn more.

RECENT COMMENTS
FlICKR GALLERY
THEMEVAN

We are addicted to WordPress development and provide Easy to using & Shine Looking themes selling on ThemeForest.

Tel : (000) 456-7890
Email : mail@CompanyName.com
Address : NO 86 XX ROAD, XCITY, XCOUNTRY.