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Not to be Outdone, HBS Students Start Their Own Porno Mag

(Spangler) Fearing that Harvard students have one-upped them with the launch of “H-Bomb,” a University-sponsored erotic magazine featuring nude photos of undergrads, two HBS students have started their own pornographic journal, “HBS Fleece.”

According to RC student and co-founder Byron Howell, “If there’s seriously a market for nude pictures of dorky 18 year-old former Academic Decathletes who used to captain their math teams, then there’s gotta be a market for naked shots of 27 year-old Ivy-educated consultants who were former Academic Decathletes and captained their math teams.”

Howell believes HBS, which has a history of shoving all its money in the rest of the University’s face, will be supportive of the magazine. “HBS is always trying to make up for the fact that it’s on the other side of the river. So we have the biggest student center, the fanciest gym, and the best library. Professors at the Law School get their own erasers so they can clean their own boards. HBS professors haven’t washed a board since 1973.”

“The last thing the Administration wants is the College to have the best
skin mag in Boston. Gosh – if the school gets behind this like it usually does, we’ll probably have our own adult cable channel by 2006.”

The Board of Trustees is meeting about “HBS Fleece” next week, according to HBS spokesperson Ari Fleischer. “But the Board wants to get one thing straight – this magazine has to be tasteful. Like Maxim. Or at least Jugs.”

“HBS Fleece” co-founder Erica Beckham hopes the University will support the literary endeavor because sex is “totally not talked about on campus.”

“Besides the Priscilla Ball, weekly Skydecks about section hookups, the booze cruise orgies, Professors making daily jokes with sexual innuendo and 200 people making out on the dance floor at Holidazzle, you’d think we’re going to school at a monastery.

Beckham and Howell believe getting students to pose nude maybe difficult. “Students at HBS are forward thinking, so most will probably come to the conclusion that posing naked may be damaging to their careers, unless they want to be actors or run for governor of California,” continued Beckham.

But according to Howell, a full contingency plan has been put in place.

“If we can’t get any nude shots, we’ll just take pictures of people in the Shad cardio room. There’s more skin and cleavage there than on “The Apprentice.'”

Though they are still waiting for funding approval, the founders are moving ahead with the content and layout for the first issue so they can have it ready for graduation weekend.

According to Beckham, “We want to stay close to our roots, so the magazine is going to have a business bent to it.”

“While we haven’t locked down the exact articles, we’ve come up with a theme for the first issue:” Howell added.”Multi-party transactions.”

February 23, 2004
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