News In Brief:

Student from Montana Fluent in English

A recent examination of the classcards has reveled yet another amazing talent that the HBS community can be proud of: a student who was born and raised in Montana has boldly listed “English – Fluent” in the “Languages” section of her class-card. “English is a very challenging language, filled with difficult pronunciations and grammatical idiosyncrasies,” said RC Chinese student Char Siu Bao, “It’s true that English is the only language the student listed, but it’s a toughie, so I can understand needing to devote all of your cognitive energies to that language alone.” Another classmate also expressed amazement at the feat: “You know, I think people don’t fully appreciate how hard it can be to learn a language like English when you’re growing up as a White Anglo-Saxon in the Midwest. Even more impressive: it seems from the classcard that this student is a brunette. Lord only knows the prejudice and sneering she had to conquer in order to master such complex academic material in the face of her taunting blonde peer-group. I only started learning English at age six in my school in Chechnya, but this poor girl has had to overcome these difficulties her entire life – yes, her entire life!”

“Stories of triumph like this inspire me every day.”

EC Student Didn’t Want Any of Those 17 Jobs Anyway

You see, they were just “practice interviews” for his networked job search. Yeah. That’s it.

New Video Series, “RCs Gone Wild,” to Debut Next Month

Following recent events during the RC section retreats, Mentra Films, producers of the wildly successful educational film franchise, “Girls Gone Wild”, have recently announced that they are abandoning plans to film their next installation in Cancun, and are instead opting for the even wilder setting of Mt. Snow, VT. “We are anxiously awaiting our next blockbuster: ‘RCs Gone Wild’. We’ve seen some of the initial tape, and have realized that Harvard is not full of dorks with thick glasses, but of chicks with sweet asses,” said executive producer Francis R. Joseph, “It’s about time that ‘Sec C’ lived up to its name, if you know what I mean. And did it ever: yee-haw!”

“I mean, I’ve heard that business school is supposed to be a ‘two-year party’, but I thought that’s supposed to be two consecutive years of one-night parties, not two years’ worth of partying done in one night. Oh well – more footage for us!”