News in Brief:

Comment Repeated, Not Built On
(Aldrich 413) Despite promising to “build on Erica’s” point in Entrepreneurial Management last Friday, RC student Randall Gregory ended up repeating exactly what Erica said, sources in Section R allege.

“When Randall raised his hand and said he was going to build on Erica’s point about the benefits of preferred stock, I was pretty pumped,” said RC student Michael Mitchell, who often gets excited by his classmates’ comments. “I thought, ‘Man, Erica just made a strong point, so if Randall is going to build on it, he’s really going to take the classroom learning to a whole new level.’ Unfortunately, Randall ended up repeating exactly what Erica said.” According RC student Michael Pavin, this is not the first time that Gregory said something that had already been said before. “Two weeks ago during the GE Medical Systems case, Randall spoke for about two minutes,” remembered Pavin. “And all the Professor did was circle something that he already wrote on the board.”

“Black and White Party” Invite Forced Into Conversation
(Spangler Center) Last Tuesday, the Spangler Center ATM machines were the site of yet another “forced” reference to a student’s receipt of a “Black and White Party” invite. According to uninvited RC student Mike Brenner, “I was standing in line and this random EC chick asked me what time it was. When I told her it was quarter past three, she said ‘Thanks.

Can you believe the weather? I hope isn’t not raining when I go to Trio tomorrow night for the exclusive, invitation-only Black and White Party.'”

Later in the day, Brenner was standing at a urinal in an Aldrich bathroom, and his sectionmate dropped the Black and White Party invite by saying, “Hey Mike – isn’t it crazy that these urinals are nothing like the urinals at Trio, which is the location of tomorrow night’s exclusive, invitation-only Black and White Party?” The Black and White Party was created by a bunch of students who were tired of networking and being nice to people so they created a venue to feed their egos by excluding people. But the Black and White invite committee remains anonymous because the last thing those students want to do is ruin their network and have people think they aren’t nice.

Riot in Power Abs
Last Tuesday at 6:18pm, a large ruckus was heard coming from the North Studio in Shad. Upon further investigation, it was found that a full-scale riot had broken out in the power abs class. It seems that the source of the fracas was Adam Shmeyer, (NC). Mr. Shmeyer claimed that he “didn’t want to have to face half of the class”, so instead he “turned [his] body in the opposite direction, facing the mirror”. As soon as Shmeyer changed direction, all hell broke loose. The instructor’s taped version of “Heya” from Outkast began playing backwards…women started crying…”It was hell in there”, claimed an obviously shaken male second-year student.

Shad has suspended all power abs class for the near future. The concern on the part of the administration is that Shmeyer’s behavior is “clearly a community standards infraction. If we have non-conforming students, what does HBS really stand for?”[Dean Clark] “Clearly not strong abdominal muscles.”

April 20, 2004
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