News in Brief:

Foam Party Disappoints Student
(Turks and Caicos) The “Foam Party Blowout” was a big let down for RC student Steven Myles when he spent his Spring Break at the all-inclusive vacation resort for Club Med in Turks and Caicos. “Groping random French 16-year-olds while covered in a mound of foam just isn’t as exciting as my friends said it would be,” Myles admitted. “But then again, my friends told me this when we were sophomores in college and single and drunk. I guess their enthusiasm doesn’t transfer to a 28-year-old person who’s engaged to be married and sober.” Myles was quick to point out that the night quickly turned sour when someone started rubbing his chest and he discovered the hand belonged to Jean-Phillipe, a 62-year-old insurance salesman from Lyons.

Nonchalant Question Actually Bragging in Disguise
(Aldrich 382) Sources report that RC student John Smith made bold attempts at disguising his staggering pomposity last Thursday, when he casually asked fellow section-mate Jenna Clarke “So, will you be in San Fran this summer?”. Clarke, who has never even been to Northern California, tragically took the bait with a “Uh…no…why?”, upon which Smith pounced with, “Oh, because I will!”.

Smith then launched into a five-minute description of the LBO firm he’ll be working for this summer, “in the Valley”. Clarke, who is still not quite sure exactly which valley was being referred to, nor what the letters “LBO” stand for, nodded mutely and pretended to look impressed. Smith, convinced that his prey had been duly wowed, then moved on to his next victim.

Campus Epidemic: RC Students Too Bored
(Aldrich) Administration officials reacted with alarm to a recent report that shows that the current RC class is “bored out of its skull” this semester.

According to student activist Richard Bower, “Even after spending two hours a day at the gym and watching countless TV shows each night before going out, I’m still going crazy trying to find things to do! I mean, I know that business school is supposed to be a ‘two year vacation’, but this is ridiculous. I’m not taking out a hundred grand in loans to just stare at my navel all day, but with only three cases a day, an international networked job search, and board positions in five clubs to occupy my time, I’m afraid that HBS has seriously disappointed me in the lack of challenge I’ve encountered thus far this semester.” Bower’s demands include: nightly polls in every class; 63% more number-crunching per case; and that next year’s FIN2 final should take place between 3-8 am on a Wednesday morning, sandwiched between five three-case days.

Student Has Friend Who Makes Jewelry/Hand Bags
(Aldrich 509) Everyone in the section is invited to RC student Maria Jackson’s trunk show for her friend Katrina Harrell, a budding jewelry and handbag designer and human resources manager for EMC. “You’ll love Katrina’s innovative designs,” Jackson wrote. “Please bring your spouses, your friends and anyone you’ve had a modicum of contact within the last 17 years.” Professor Elaine Howser admires the entrepreneurial spirit of today’s twenty-somethings and is reminded of her days when she did related things to make money as an HBS student in the seventies. “I did something similar, but under a different name,” Howser remembered. “Tupperware parties.”

April 5, 2004
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