At this time of year, after the food and alcohol consumption frenzy otherwise known as the holiday season, we resolve to make up for all of the excesses of the previous year by making a New Year’s resolution; common ones include:
o Exercising more frequently
o Eating less food
o Drinking less beer
But why make promises that you can’t keep? Why not make just one all encompassing commitment that you will actually enjoy keeping? Joining the HBS RFC is like making four resolutions for the price of one:
o You will drink more beer
o You will eat more food
o You will learn interesting songs that you can sing to your loved ones when visiting home
o Best of all, you will become fitter than you’ve ever been in your life (despite the food and beer)
So what is life in HBS RFC like?
After a very active fall season the athletes from HBS RFC scattered to various fleshpots around the world in order to reflect on the victories and conquests of 2003. The only thing that prevented us from winning two major tournaments in 2003 were myopically challenged referees (who seemed to still carry baggage from being dinged from Harvard 50 odd years ago.) As Mark Okerstrom (OE) famously opined “open your eyes, you #@^*, you’re missing a good game”.
Our focus in 2004 is to win that holy grail of all tournaments: the MBA Rugby World Championship at Duke. We will be training to run faster, hit harder, drink quicker and sing louder than any other MBA team in the world. Think Superbowl and you’ll get an idea of how BIG this event is.
Our grueling training schedule will begin on Friday, January 16th with the consumption of a free keg of beer donated by our benevolent sponsor, Pizzeria Uno. As well as the chance to learn more about the elegant sport of rugby, new members will be taught the all important game of spoof (all key alcohol purchasing decisions are made using this ancient game) and the songs with which you will be able amaze and woo the ladies. Women find nothing more attractive than a post-match, sweaty, inebriated rugger who will sing them songs about their previous working life(when they used to work in Chicago) or their infamous Father Abraham (who had seven sons).
After this introduction to the entertaining social life of a rugby player we will start our grueling fitness training; initially on a weekly basis, but then bi-weekly following the RC hell week. Your first chance to play in a competitive game will occur in March when we intend to settle a few old scores with some locally based teams.
At the end of February HBS RFC will embark on its annual Spring Tour, which this year will be in Miami. This will be a great way to practice your new found drinking and sporting skills. The numerous social events will be designed to build both short-term and long-term relationships with the local populace as HBS RFC is committed to growing its strong base of female fans. A trip to the local ‘school of dancing’ is always a favorite agenda item. Obviously we cater to those members with partners by arranging alternative activities- in previous years, water sports and reaching unknown depths whilst diving have been favorite activities. Mike “Octopus” Butville (NB) will be responsible for these activities.
Interested in joining? Visit the RFC website or email myself (firstname.lastname@example.org) or the other dashing Harbus Sports Editor (email@example.com) for more details. The only qualification needed is a willingness to give at least 100% on and off the field.