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NASA Rover Discovers World Does Not Revolve Around HBS Student

(Houston, TX) Spirit, the $400 million NASA rover that recently landed on the surface of Mars, made its first important discovery last Thursday when it uncovered incontrovertible evidence that the world, in fact, does not revolve around RC student Janice Snyder, despite Janice’s strong belief that it does.

“We originally sent the rover into space to find evidence of life on Mars,” said NASA assistant administrator Ed Weiler. But we got so many inquiries from Janice’s family, friends and sectionmates regarding the validity of her insistence on a Janice-centric view of the universe, we felt it was necessary to put the issue to rest before the rover drives off the lander to investigate the geology of the Gusev Crater.”

Since hearing the news, Snyder’s sectionmates have high hopes for the rest of semester.

“No longer will Janice be able to bring every single class discussion back to her experiences as a founder, Chairman and CEO of a high technology funded by all the best VCs in the Valley,” said Scott Patterson, who sat next to Snyder last semester. “Or as a consultant for McKinsey. Or a founder of the second-largest non-profit in the country that teaches Argentine tango to homeless vets.”

“Next time I have to hear about how the Tango changed the lives of those damn Vietnam Vets, I’m gonna be like ‘Stop right there Janice. NASA. Ever hear of it?’ And she’ll stop because the last thing anyone would ever wanna do is admit they haven’t heard of NASA.”

The section expects the changes go far beyond Janice’s belief that every case is written solely for the purpose of getting her to talk about her own work experiences.

“Now we can have a section retreat the first weekend in March, even though Janice can’t make it,” said social chair Scott Patterson
Added classmate Joan Watkins, “We also can go to Costa Rica for Spring

Break, even though Janice has already been there.”

Janice’s family expects similar changes.

“Hopefully at Easter the rest of our children will get a chance to talk about themselves – unlike Thanksgiving,” Janice’s mother said, referring to the meal when Janice talked the entire four hours about herself and how well she was doing at HBS and about all her interview and more about those “damn Vets doing the Tango.”

“Sometimes I think I really screwed up as a parent because she is so self-centered. Well, all that’ll change with this whole NASA thing. And I bet the students at HBS will be happy.”

“It must be a rarity to have a student at Harvard who is so impressed with herself.”

January 26, 2004
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