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How to Survive Friendly Fenway Park

Know this: while it may be the home of the Super Bowl Champions for two of the last three years, Boston is fundamentally a baseball town. For those of you who have yet to experience it, a trip to Fenway Park for a Red Sox game is a MUST before you leave this city. Since 1912, for 81 home games per year, Fenway becomes a microcosm of this fine city with all the Massholes, inefficiencies, and quirks rolled up into one stadium. But before you head out on this journey of a lifetime, there are a few things you should know.

First, don’t drive to Fenway. Anybody who tells you different doesn’t like you. Ride the T, walk or at worst, take a cab, but avoid bringing your car into Kenmore Square at all costs, you’ll never leave. And besides, you’ll need the $30 you save on parking to buy two beers in the park.

Careful when buying tickets from a scalper. While most times this is the only way to get tickets, these guys are criminals. Don’t think this is a great time to test your newly acquired skills from Negotiations class. The scalpers aren’t honest and will fly off the handle a bit quicker than the guy who sits next to you in class. Bring a Fenway seating chart with you and look at where the seats are located before you buy them.

Beware of obstructed view seats. Nowhere else in the modern world can you go to a game and actually sit in front of a steel girder. You may wonder at what point does an architect, regardless of the time period, decide it’s a great idea to place exposed beams of steel in the middle of a sporting stadium. The Romans were able to avoid putting poles in the middle of the Coliseum, why couldn’t they figure this out in 1912?

Avoid the seats along the right field foul line. These seats are situated to look straight out at right field. In order to see the pitches, you need to turn to your left. By the end of the game you have a crick in your neck that will rival anything your grandfather ever complained about.

Understand the “2 Beer per Person” rule. A tragic result of Boston’s puritanical founders, no individual can purchase more than two beers per trip to the concessions stand. As a result, you will see grown adults resorting to high school-esque tactics to get 4 beers before returning to their seats. Most people will hide behind poles until a shift-change at the stand or hide beers in corners of the concessions area so they can go back to the stand for two more.

Finally, if you’re a Yankees fan, like my friends Brendan Carroll (OG) or Al Suarez (NI), wear as much Yankees gear as you can get your hands on.

The fans of Boston will treat you very well. No one will curse at you, dump beer on you or try to fight you. The fans in the bleachers will treat you especially well. There is a reason they refer to the park as “Friendly Fenway Park.”

With these points in mind, you are sure to get the most from your trip to Fenway. Enjoy!

April 12, 2004
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