News

Horoscopes

Aries: (March 21-April 19)
Congrats! You will win the SA Co-Presidency. Now you have to figure out what an SA Co-President does, if anything.

Taurus: (Apr/20-May 20)
Love is in the air. You’ll hook up with a Costa Rican waitress on Spring Break. You’ll give her your Global Adrenaline hat as a keepsake.

Gemini: (May 21/Jun 21)
The future looks bright. Don’t kill yourself. There’s more to live for. ‘Average Joe: Adam Returns’ starts March 15th.

Cancer: (Jun 22/Jul 22)
There’s always tomorrow. You still haven’t started your field study. And you probably won’t until mid-April.

Leo: (Jul 23/Aug 22)
Hair today, gone. The hair on your head is thinning. Or so the hot undergrad in your Spanish class will point out. In Spanish.

Virgo: (Aug 23/Sept 22)
Always be closing. You still won’t have a job. Why doesn’t anyone in China want a non-Mandarin speaking white guy who wants an expat package? Don’t they know you go to HBS?

Libra: (Sept 23/Oct 23)
He’s got game. You’ll skip Kim Clark’s town hall meeting. But you’ll spend 30 minutes on the Net looking up the origin of the phrase “Shiver me timbers.”

Scorpio: (Oct 24/Nov 21)
36-nil. You’ll get a picture of the Rugby team. You’ll put it above your bed. You are the editors of the Sports section.

Sagittarius: (Nov 22/Dec 21)
867-5309. You’ll google an old high school boyfriend because you’re bored. And single. And 29. And hoping he’s not married.

Capricorn: (Dec 22/Jan 19)
If you are a business success, you won’t talk about family at an HBS reunion. If you are a greeter at Wal-Mart, you won’t be invited.

Aquarius: (Jan 20/Feb 18)
Somebody stop me! You’ll use the words ‘Dude’ and ‘S’up’ and ‘analyze the underlying economics of the value chain’ in the same sentence.

Pisces: (Feb 19/March 20)
Just shoot me! Your mom will tell you your sister is trying to get pregnant. You’re so happy your mother has planted an image in your head of your sister having sex.

March 8, 2004
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