(Hawes) With the set of the HBS Show finally dissembled, and the last faint traces of applause fading away, RC student and Show participant Jack O’Malley is ready to kick back and enjoy the fruits of his labor.
Despite the fact that O’Malley is currently getting a three in every class, he is happy with the trade-off. “Spending countless hours over the past four months devoted to the Show has taught me a lot of lessons. Valuable lessons. About LIFE. For example, I learned how to effectively move a prop between scenes. Not just any prop, but a big heavy desk! I’m confident that my prop-moving skills will surely come in handy in my future career. All I need to do now is find a career that values moving large objects around very, very, verrrrrrrrrry slowly while ‘Hey Ya’ plays in the background multiple times.”
O’Malley is also looking forward to Show benefits related to his prospects with women. “In ‘the biz’, we call it ‘Show Glow’, and I’ve heard that chicks totally dig it”, said O’Malley expectantly, “At a party last weekend, I nonchalantly told a few cute girls that I was the guy moving the props around between scenes 14 and 15, and that I had a brief cameo in scene 27: I played the part of ‘Onlooker # 6’ during the party scene! My theatrical debut! They pretended to not be impressed, but they’re just playing hard to get. I know that one day, they will be mine.”
O’Malley then showed off his newfound acting skills, growling and saying “Yeah, baby!” with a poorly-executed Austin Powers accent, adding: “Who knows where my post-Show adventures will lead? On the one hand, my acting experience makes me want to pursue a career on Broadway; on the other hand, my scene-changing and prop-moving experience wants me to pursue a career at the DMV, or at the visa-issuing desk of the Brazilian consulate. I heard that it can take up to six hours for those guys to put a simple stamp in your passport! Wow.”