For those who missed the latest reality-television premier, here’s a quick primer. In an effort to pay off my Citibank loans, I’ve imagined a partnership with a major television studio to film a reality show here at HBS. There are secret cameras all over campus that capture the minutiae of our charmed lives. And here’s what we plan to air this week:
7:53AM – Aldrich Hall Study Alcove B
A six-member study group officially splinters as two chronically-late members are asked to “reconsider” their allegiance. A vote among the four on-timers ensues and the only two who have any financial background resign themselves to sleeping in an extra hour from now on. The remaining members struggle over how to use the sum function in Excel for the FRC case.
8:36AM – Aldrich Hall Coffee Cart
The stale chocolate croissant that has been wedged between the metal shelf and a box of tissue paper for three weeks is finally purchased.
12:15PM – Spangler Grille
A scuttle ensues near the water/ice machine. A member of the Global Outsourcing Club clashes with a five-member team associated with the Volunteer Consulting Organization which is assigned to work with a non-profit center for employees who lost their jobs to India this year. A tower of Styrofoam cups is lost in the altercation.
1:06PM – Hawes Hall 2nd Floor Men’s Room
An undisclosed EC student obsesses with the collar of his pastel Lacoste polo shirt. He can’t seem to decide whether or not to flip up the collar. A second student enters the bathroom and the student clumsily does a partial flip to hedge his fashion bet.
3:20PM – Wilder House Basement
A female RC student breaks down in tears with her Career Coach and admits that she simply can’t be forced to decide between a career in luxury retail and non-profit management.
5:15PM – Spangler Parking Lot
Desperate EC student spotted helping to carry paperwork and a box of freebie pens to the trunk of a Goldman Sachs recruiter’s rented Ford Taurus.
10:35PM – Off-campus Apartment Halloween Party
Student is spotted wearing nearly-identical costume he pawned off for Priscilla Ball. The change in mascara color fooled no one.