Sixteen teams arrived in New Haven, CT last week intent on winning the prestigious 15th Annual Yale Cup. One team came home with the championship: Harvard Business School. Not only did HBS beat five schools to reach the finals against Insituto Empresa (Madrid), the team shut out every single opponent.
What truly set the team apart from the other business schools? Three things, according to co-captain Hendrick “the Kaiser” Almstadt (OJ), who can often be found at the Shad spin class before running the Harvard stadium steps: “Discipline, discipline, and more discipline.” Midfielder Rafa Guida Masoni (OC) offered the surprising truth, “We simply had the best looking partners”. Our opponents were so distracted by our wives and fianc‚es’ beauty that we were able to run right past them.” Jeremy Tan (NE), a native of Singapore, insisted that the team’s international lineup was responsible. As he explains, “everyone knows that Americans can’t really play football. I mean, they still call it soccer! Fortunately we had only three Americans…well, four if you count Sahil, since he’s Indian but from Atlanta.”
Whatever one may believe about the team’s secret sauce, one fact is undeniable: it dominated the competition. HBS sailed through its first three round robin games, beating Yale (B team), McGill (Montreal), and Columbia to earn the #1 seed in its bracket. The team sent Stern (NYU) packing in the quarterfinals and faced a strong Yale Alumni squad in the semifinals. Yale Alumni had defeated Tuck, last year’s Yale Cup champions, to reach the semi-finals. The senior citizens played a conservative, defensive game, putting the game into a penalty kick shoot-out after a regulation time ended in a 0-0 tie. They did not count, however, on Ryan “the Rock” McMonagle (OE), who covered 60% of the goal simply by standing there. McMonagle blocked two shots while HBS made all of its shots, sending Yale Alumni for their oxygen tanks and Geritol.
After five games in two days, HBS staggered to the finals against de Impressa, who had traveled from Madrid. From the first whistle, HBS played as if it were on fresh legs, moving the ball around the field and controlling the game. Santiago Marra (OD), who earned the tournament MVP award, put a beautiful shot from 30 yards, top-spinning the ball over the goalkeeper’s outstretched hands. As it had all weekend, the HBS defense simply shut down the other team. Akos Kassai (OC) and David Priego (NJ) anchored the team at sweeper and stopper, playing every minute of every game. Fellow defenders Rob Gannett (ND), Hendrik Almstadt (OJ), and Patrick McCarter (OJ) shut down every Impressa offensive attempt, earning a 1-0 win. Congratulate the following players for bringing the Cup home to Boston: Akos Kassai (NC), Alex Wit (NA), Brian Drab (NB), David Priego (NJ), Hendrik Almstadt (OJ), Jeremy Tan (NE), Patrick McCarter (OJ), Rafa Guida Masoni (OC), Luis Pescarmona (NF), Ricardo Chamorro (NB), Robert Gannett (ND), Ryan McMonagle (OE), Sahil Patel, (OH) Santiago Marra (OD), and Thomas Scriven (OH).