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Wham, Bham, Thank You Mam

It was at the opening ceremony – which included a 90 man conga line, Mexican waves and a crowd-surfing Gaurav – that we, Section B, decided deliberately to only have fun and not take this thing at all seriously. We realized within 2 minutes of dodgeball that we wouldn’t be coming too high in the standings. We thought it was a game, not a strategic encounter with a foreign army. So the comedy started there, losing all our men as quickly as possible to put our girls in the firing line. They valiantly stood their ground, while opponents Section I took everything way too seriously and tried to literally lop Ivelisse Rodriguez’s head off.

Ivelisse’s reaction was to hold four balls in her arms and beg the Section I folks to move closer, because she couldn’t throw that far. Funny thing is that they moved forward.

Fearless leaders Mike Worosz and Pam Yee were overheard to say, “Guys, coming 7th or 8th is embarrassing, we have to come last, that way at least we are good at losing, the best at losing in fact!” So onto the next event.

In the quiz bowl, we just wanted to be the first to finish and head out to enjoy the sun. Team captain, Frederik Evendt, even wasted 5 minutes precious tanning time trying to name two people from NE. For project build, Erik Schaeffer and team built a Bham Wagon, because everyone else wants to get on it. Discoballs and underwear filled with balloons were as representative of our year as they were well made.

Then section B took over Kresge. Wacky captain, Craig Lichtenstein, mismatched people as much as possible in the 3 legged race, for maximum comedy. This resulted in Chuck Whitten air lifting Gaurav as he doggy paddled through the air, Neeta Rastogi lifting a man (the Bobo) 4 times her weight and volume, and Megan Reilly then trying to Salsa with an upside down Perry Ballard. But best of all, after Lesley found out that holding up a 6’5″ Texan – Chuck – is tough work, she decided to ride him like a horse and whip him with the ankle tie meant for the three-legged race. Of course, this resulted in immediate disqualification.

Jim Verbeeten and Joyce Ramos really excelled in the egg-chucking contest. Jim takes up the story, “When I saw Joyce’s final throw, and the spin she gave to it, I knew this would be a hard one to catch. So as sublimely as I could, I moved in on the egg for a high-handed catch that would counter the spin without breaking the egg. Unfortunately, I did not succeed.” Another reason Jim did not succeed was because we had earlier decreed that we would participate using the ‘no-hands’ technique.

In the egg & spoon, something went wrong. We suddenly found ourselves in 2nd place and in serious danger of picking up points. Ladell, noticing the predicament, face dived in the last yard, but alas, the egg – to our disappointment – didn’t splat. In a state of near panic about the prospect of picking up 5 points, Rahul Advani picked up the egg and threw it at one of the referees, our section president, Steve Kezirian.

Steve, in official mode, said, “Rahul, this isn’t funny, use your judgment next time”. An egg on a yellow tee shirt was pretty good judgment I feel.

Of course, we were the best at spinning round the bat, behaving like drunken fools comes easy to us. Our comedy and relentless drive to be last with zero points was constantly spurred on by the serious keenness of Section J, thank you to them. Apparently there were 8 other lanes involved, which we didn’t realize.

And finally to the Blue Ribband event, the twin Twinkie munch. Again Ivelisse was in the firing line…

Judge to Ivelisse in the eating contest: “You’re DISQUALIFIED!”
Ivelisse, “I KNOW!!!”, as she threw another Twinkie in his face.
And that was that. Last, but first.

May 5, 2003
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