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We are the Yankee HATERS

I loved the World Series this year. Those plucky Sox – my adopted team after the Orioles – almost beat the Yankees. I cheered, gloated and then winced in the Bus Stop in Game 7 with all the other Red Sox fans from school and although we lost, I’ll remember that night as a great sporting experience. Having come home to look for jobs in the UK for Hell Week, I tried to describe that night to my Dad. He doesn’t know one thing about baseball, so he stuck to the territory he knew best. “Did they sing songs?”

That might seem like a strange question unless you’ve been to a soccer match in the UK, preferably one in the lower leagues. “No,” I said, “But I do remember that the Yankee fans had some chants when I saw them play the Red Sox years ago. “Red Sox suck, Red Sox suck, etc” was the main one, although some guys did get chucked out for adding d*ck to the end.” “Oh,” said my Dad, “No Yankee HATERS?” Now at this point I do want to add that there may be other songs or chants in baseball but I never came across them at Camden Yards and a google search was equally fruitless. The songs and chants in soccer always come from the season ticket area, where the die-hard fans meet at every home game and the unofficial supporters club hands out the scrappy photo copies with the latest tunes, often derivatives of current pop songs. Having never been a 10 year, 20-match per season supporter, I can’t do justice to their inventiveness. Maybe we can sing them at Fenway next year when the Yankees come to visit. It might help them choke again.

Easy ones…

We hate th’ Yankees
We hate th’ Yankees and we hate th’ Yankees
We hate th’ Yankees and we hate th’ Yankees
We hate th’ Yankees and we hate th’ Yankees
We are the Yankee HATERS

I’m a loser, I’m a loser
I’m a loser, Yes I am
But I’d rather be a loser than a Yankees fan

For players currently suspected of using THG, the designer steroid – and I think there’s a Yankee in that list, who for legal reasons, I cannot mention – try…

John Yankee’s stupid
He wears a dunce’s hat
And when he saw a designer drug
He said I’m having that

But those are not much better than Yankees suck, so I googled it. And unfortunately, the vast majority were far too blue for Harbus’ lawyers and a little culturally specific – did you know that Scousers (people from Liverpool) nick (aka steal) anything that isn’t nailed down? So I rescued a few, which you could teach to Granny, but for the authentic filth, come over and watch a game.

To the tune of, “You are my sunshine”:

You are my Red Sox, my only Red Sox,
You make me happy, when skies are grey
I never notice how much I love you
Until they take my Rex Sox away

To the tune of Winter Wonderland:
One Pedro Martinez
There’s only one Pedro Martinez
Walking along, singing a song
Walking in a Pedro wonderland

And one for the Marlins:
We are the Marlins, the pride of the South
We hate the Yankees, ‘cos they are all mouth
We took Yankee Stadium, and that was $*&% all
The Marlins will rise and the Yankees will fall

November 10, 2003
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