You all may have heard some buzz about the upcoming HBS Show. For those of who don’t know about the HBS Show, allow That Guy to explain.
Every year, certain insane students decide that they don’t have enough worthless busywork on their plates, so they decide to dedicate countless hours putting on a silly musical full of inside jokes that doesn’t make money and doesn’t get them jobs in show business. There is usually a remarkably high overlap between HBS Show performers and participants of many other groups on campus (most notably the She-E-Os / Heard On the Street, HollywoodTrek, the Wine and Cuisine Society, Career Teams, and UHS Confidential Psychological Counseling.)
This year, speculation has been rampant as to what the theme and plot of the HBS Show will be. To ease your troubled minds, here are the latest rumors about possible 2003 HBS Show titles and descriptions:
“Death of a Sectionmate”: A witty narrative about an incredibly annoying first-year guy and the section that hates him.
“Construction Worker on the Roof”: A soulful tale about life in Soldiers Field Park #6.
“Margeaux Get Your Gun”: A thrilling tale of two wealthy prep-school HBSers enjoying a late evening in Downtown Boston.
“Blue Man Poop”: A play about Smurfs defecating.
“A Parisian in America”: An intriguing look into the lives of those strange-smelling European people in your section.
“My Fair Grady”: A thoughtful explanation of why you got that 3 in TOM last term.
“Guys and Guys”: A humorous examination of the male-female ratio at an average HBS party.
“I Said Bring Me a Double Latte, You Worthless Piece of Crap”: A delightful expose of Investment Banking summer internships.
“We’re Not Hiring, You Jackass”: A pleasantly hopeless look at the job market of the new millennium.
No matter which theme ends up being the legacy of this year’s HBS Show, That Guy hopes you will come out and enjoy the show. He will be the guy in the corner smoking weed and throwing orange peels at the self-absorbed ballerina.