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Letter to Anna

It’s been over a week since you left us, and we really miss you. I still haven’t nearly come to grips with the hard fact that you’re gone. I’ve had to stop asking how or why. That you’re gone isn’t right or fair at all.
I remember the first time I realized that you were amazing, and special among us. It was Creating Modern Capitalism, and you sat in the skydeck by the door. I was low in the far corner and could barely see you at that angle. I remember thinking the first time you spoke that it was a tremendous irony that such a brilliantly clear and powerful voice could come from such a little person. I have so many special memories of you.

I loved hearing you speak in class because they were always exercises in clarity and brilliance. You have a great mind. I loved the way you explained things, simple and complex at the same time.

I remember how I called you “Big A” and you called me “Little A.” We always laughed about that paradox.

I remember we talked after class, and how you told me that social responsibility was mandatory for corporate management. I remember thinking that from you, it wasn’t just rhetoric. I wished that more people in our class had your conviction. I remember thinking I would learn a lot from you.

I remember how you “coached” Section J’s IM football team. I remember how you refused to go in the game, but we finally convinced you to go on the field. I don’t remember if we threw you the ball or not, but we should have. Knowing you, you probably would have scored a touchdown. I remember how you tried to comfort me after I threw a pathetic interception sealing our loss and knocking us out of the playoff hunt.

Having you there made football a lot more fun. Having you there made section more fun.

I remember your adorable laugh.

I remember how warm you were. I always loved how you and your fianc‚ Lanhee always welcomed me over to eat and to watch the Lakers.

I remember sitting at your table with you, while you told me how much you loved him, and what you wanted to do with your life. I knew what ever you wanted would actually happen for you one day.

I remember your smile and your hugs.

I remember when you took me out for my birthday, and how you listened to me vent about life. I felt much better after.

It’s not that I won’t remember these things, it’s that they will be impossible to forget them.

When I got the phone call that you had passed away, I couldn’t believe it. It was literally like a punch in the gut that still hurts. I remember hearing the circumstances of your death and thinking how terrible it was that if one little thing had changed, you would still be with us. I remember listening to your friends and family at your memorial talk about how much they were affected by you. So many people looked up to you Anna. So many people need you still. I remember how hard it was to say goodbye to you, when I saw you last. It seemed like just yesterday you were here.

Anna, we love you, more than you know, more than we knew ourselves until you left.

Editor’s Note

Anna Su (OJ) drowned at the home of a relative on August 19 in Los Angeles. She is survived by her parents, two sisters, and fianc‚. Anna was 25 years old.

The Harbus extends our deepest sympathy to Anna’s family, fianc‚, friends, and all who knew her.

September 2, 2003
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