Now it’s my turn. I get to be the Grady Little of humor writing tonight since my partner in crime, the larger-than-life Kevin Barhydt, had to bail on me tonight for interviews on the left coast. Hopefully his coffee serving skills for the Starbucks second round are better than his hockey game. I have to ask myself, “Where would KB want to start the article?” Ah yes, a little jab at our editor – the notorious Swingline-toting, staple fanatic Omar.
Thank you for the filler piece last week. Can you please interview before me and discuss your staples theory? Thanks.
I’ll be honest here. I thought this show had tremendous upside potential.
In VCPE terms, Bob had triple dipping participating preferred options, aka weekend getaways with the final three ladies. On ABC’s tab, Bob got to take the ladies to Alaska, Jackson Hole and Belize. Each date had a personal card with a “fantasy suite” option for the evening. Turning that down would be equivalent to the Seinfeld episode where Constanza turned down the cake in his McKinsey interview. Let’s see how the ladies did.
Random Ramblings. . . Our Key Takeaways from Episode 7
Date with Kelly Jo:
o 9:04 pm- 1st kiss of the show along with light petting in the hot tub in Alaska. ABC has the formula down pat at these point.
o Kelly Jo says she is getting ready for a “dinner she will never forget.” At these point, we all know she never forgets any meal. Sorry guys…too easy.
o Kelly Jo accepts the fantasy suite option faster than most of us get dinged in our interviews. Something tells me she has a low strike price and will make it to the next round.
Date with Mary:
o Mary starts things off on the right foot by saying “I think I should take my clothes off” as she and Bob survey the river at Jackson Hole. Mary is going big this round. It’s like making it past the first round interview and putting it ALL on the line. Good luck, I’ve never made it that far.
o Mary and Bob enjoy a nice couples massage and hot shower. Mary makes sure she states on national TV that she “held out” even though the shower was steamy. Then she proceeds to immediately accept the fantasy suite. We respect you.
Date with Estella:
They saved for the best for last. As I’ve said before, she’s all Bob has left. Mature, funny, poised, and she puts it all on the line. Yes, she does have a Barbie voice, but so did Trista.
o 9:40 pm – Estella has a solid makeout session with Bob in the pool in Belize. She exclaims “I want to be with Bob”. Estella, we want to be with you. The fantasy suite was as sure as snow before Halloween in Boston.
The Rose Ceremony
For the seventh time, we’re lured in with “It’s the most dramatic rose ceremony EVER.” This one has more drama and waiting than what I experienced in that dreadful silence in Chase Hall waiting for my interviews. ECs – You know what I’m talking about. I tried making small talk with some guy the other day and he said he had 26 interviews lined up. What! You have got to narrow down your focus, ala Bob.
o Kelly Jo – We need her on this show. We want on her on this show. We can’t handle the truth. Without her, our attempt at humor would be nothing.
o Estella – After an eternity of dramatic shots by ABC, she gets the final rose. YES! I was long on Estella’s stock a way’s back. Nice job Bob.
o Mary – Keep on truckin. She dropped the “L” bomb and came up empty. We liked your effort Mary. Your parting gift is a complimentary calculator I got after an interview as my parting gift. Yes, I am a re-gifter. I’m not the only one who’ll be re-gifting that sorry calculator.
Estella – Looking mature and poised…
Quote of the Week
o Estella saying “Can you Belize it?” Hey, there wasn’t a lot of material to go on this week with Bob hooking up 24-7 all over the world. But I get a kick out of a girl that can mix in a good pun before jumping in the ocean to swim with sharks.
HBS Grade of the Week
o I’m giving this a solid “2.” Quality dates in exotic places. Decent amount of light petting. Plenty of “participation” to get by considering the rest of the season’s episodes.
Joe Millionaire Bonus Coverage
We’re not ready to write off Joe Millionaire despite the fact that the rest of the country has according to the ratings. They clearly don’t have enough free time on their hands. As opposed to Bob whisking girls off to exotic lands, our cowboy has his femme fatales scooping manure for their date.
As he is discussing his reasoning for this, my roommate makes the astute comment, “why don’t they have subtitles for this guy?” I hear ya. I am from the South and can barely understand him. The cowboy whittles the group down to 6 at the end, but it is anybody’s game at this point, ala the Microsoft interviews.
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