Me ‘n’ Him
Goldie: Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. You overestimate me. You seem to think that your match-up was somehow less scientific than my usual matches, but in fact this Intraview rated about average in terms of the scientific calculus of the match. Now, if I had just met you on the street, that would have been un-scientific.
Dallas: Actually, I don’t think that that means that my match was scientific, it just means that you are running some sort of big hoax.
Goldie: Hey, tell that to Kim and Lincoln. I stay at home and watch TV on Wednesdays because Law and Order is on. How did you survive without seeing it?
Dallas: I have live friends instead of being friends with my TV.
Goldie: When Benjamin Bratt is your TV friend, you think twice about it. Being cute really makes so many things forgivable, doesn’t it?
Dallas: Oh, it does, it does.
Goldie: What are your thoughts on Kenneth Cole?
Dallas: Nice shoes but they make me look short. Especially next to Nick Will.
Goldie: Hmm, you said “cute but non-specific and vague things” in your follow-up e-mail. Pray tell what does it mean?
Dallas: You’d have to ask him.
Me ‘n’ Him
Goldie: Um, you mentioned that you can’t rely on the convention that the man “plans, pays, and decides” as you can in a straight relationship. Well, as a heterosexual woman, I just wanted to let you know that we can’t rely on this convention either. OK, the man usually decides, but the planning and the paying are much larger question marks.
Will: Really? Wow. I don’t know what to say. For guys, it can be confusing.
Goldie: So, did you ever get a sense of what made the lesbian restaurant owner so angry? Was it just a marketing ploy?
Will: I think all gay men love angry lesbians.
Goldie: What’s wrong with Kenneth Cole? I have a great pair of strappy sandals from Kenneth Cole.
Will: I love Kenneth Cole, but I’d rather be wearing jeans and a t-shirt.
Goldie: OK, I’m not trying to pass judgment here, but do you think going Barbara Walters is the best way to woo a potential significant other? I’m just asking here…
Will: Oh, no. I have to admit, it was purely for my own entertainment.
Goldie: How did you decide who should pay?
Will: I just took out my credit card; it was just a reflex action. And then he bought drinks, which was very kind of him. I just don’t care about those things.
Me ‘n’ Them
Goldie: So, will there be another Intraview?
Dallas: Well, I don’t know.
Will: It’s a small gay world. He and I will doubtless see each other again.