Section E Ate My Hamster!

Job hunt getting you down? One of the keenest minds at the world’s best business schools recalls those happy days from the first semester, in the following extract from our section history…

Arrive at study group. Last, as usual. Everyone is talking about some Tolkien creatures called Nordies. Utterly confused. I practice discipline by denying myself a particularly attractive chocolate croissant.
TOM – 8.40-10.00 – Arrow Electronics(1)

Prof. Kaufman presents a case about a little known electronics company. Should Arrow employ youth slave labor to solve a workforce shortfall in their New England manufacturing facility? Brian says yes: his plan would be to bribe kids away from burger flipping at McDonald’s by the lure of walking around a big warehouse all day. Mora puts her hand up, but can’t get in. Kelli doesn’t like Brian’s idea, pointing out that all part-time workers and people between the ages of 16 and 21 steal things on a regular basis. Mora still wants in, and so stretches a little, but to no avail. Derrick agrees with Kelli, noting that they particularly like shiny things and items containing capacitors. Mora stretches further. Andrew makes the excellent point that the woes of the company are all the fault of the CEO. Prof. Kaufman completely disagrees. Mora finally gets in, proving that people with long arms do get called more often.

The section gets the distinct impression that Prof. Kaufman doesn’t know this case nearly as well as he should. We all wish we’d been taught by the smart guy with the moustache in the courseware video(2)…

(1) Arrow Electronics – #1 global electronimcs distributor; $3B Market Cap; Chairman and former CEO: Steve Kaufman
(2) Smart guy coincidentally also called Steve Kaufman.
FRC – 10.20-11.40 – Nordstrom

Nordies ARE Tolkien characters! They work for the Dark Lords of the Nordstrom, and have to toil very hard for very little money in the cavernous depths of the Handbag department. If they complain, they are sent to the cold wastes of Hats and Gloves.

Laura thinks that the Nordies deserve their lot, as they were insufficiently attentive the last time that she was in the store. Matthew B agrees, and indeed admits to being in the pay of the Dark Lords, savoring the prospect of having Nordies deliver things to his office in their off-hours. Beth, an escaped Nordie herself, tells us that life as a Nordie isn’t all bad – good ones are rewarded by visits from pop idol Marky Mark. This surely makes all the hours of pain and drudgery worthwhile!

Marketing – 1.10-2.30 – Sony Playstation
Prof. Moon somehow got hold of Hollidazzle pictures (we know it was you, Bradley, don’t deny it!) and takes great delight in sharing the more salubrious ones with the class. Itamar had at least two thirds of the photographs to himself, though he kindly shared them with a host of attractive ladies (and Derrick!). Gentlemen, I promise to take Itamar to the pub, get him uproariously drunk (two pints of lager should do the trick), discover his secret, and share it with you all. Though if it’s a really good secret, I might succumb to the malign influences of American capitalism and be forced to charge a small fee.

Today, however, belonged to Bill, who, when told to “get a life” by Prof. Moon, uttered the immortal phrase, “I could say the same to you.” Explaining that ladies in their thirties tend to spend increasing amounts of time at home, Bill single-handedly rescues eighty people from the tyranny of a Marketing cold call for the rest of term.