1. Which of the following really exists?
A. Baker Library
B. Professor Michael Porter
C. Gainful employment
D. Santa Claus
E. Tooth fairy
2. What is the name of the new building on campus?
A. St. Mary’s Hall of the Immaculate Landscaping
B. Baker Library
C. Case Protagonist Webcasting Center (CPWC)
D. Hawes Hall
E. I don’t know, but the brick doesn’t match
3. Which of the following series runs from most valuable to least valuable?
A. US Dollar, Russian ruble, stone, Argentine peso
B. Open day, 2-class day, 3-class day, any day involving required visit to Burden Auditorium
C. Harbus, day-old Wall Street Journal, tin can, HBR article on frameworks
D. Stale donut, Social Enterprise class, used toilet paper, Career Link
E. All of the above
4. Complete the following equation.
Ra = ? + (á)(market premium)
A. Just discount it at 15% like the real world
C. C + I + G + (X-M)
E. I have a technical question
5. One train leaves Boston at noon traveling at 60MPH. Another train leaves New York City at the same time traveling at 80MPH. If the distance between the cities in 240 miles, at what time will the trains meet?
A. Two hours before a student starting at the same time makes his way through the Spangler lunch line
B. When they crash head-on
C. I didn’t run the numbers
D. Building on the last point, I think Amtrak benefits greatly from network effects
E. All of the above
6. Complete the following analogy.
Professor : Instruction ::
A. Investment banker : Pitchbook
B. Consultant : Toolkit
C. Non-profit : Tree
D. Mayor McCheese : McDonaldland
7. Why does HBS Landscaping constantly re-sod the grass?
A. Student traffic on the grass due to devious master plan of illogical walkways
B. Administration can’t bring themselves to fire the gardener (good help is so hard to find these days)
C. To fix the holes of Dean Clark, who is frantically digging up campus looking for the buried coffee can containing the Social Enterprise Fellowship endowment
D. It’s paid for by BP to leverage their pro-environmental strategy.
E. Lush walkways part of Prof. Michael Porter’s contract; grass is cheaper than red carpet or rose petals
1. (D) Answers (A) and (C) are rumored but unproven; (B) and (E) are urban legends.
2. (E) is the most correct answer. Partial credit may also be given for answer (B).
3. (A) Answer (B) is incorrect because any Burden session should be skipped by a student, thus creating more free time and adding more value than a three case day. Answer (C) is also incorrect because a tin can is far more valuable than any of the other items, what with the fascinating properties another can and some string can bring to it. None of the items in (D) has any value whatsoever.
4. (A) Any more discussion on this topic is completely pointless.
5. (B) Answer (A) is incorrect because the incident would occur three, not two, hours before a student may eat. (C) is not an appropriate answer because one should always have a secondhand writeup, a neighbor, or bullshit to provide for a numbers question. Anyone answering (D) will be shot at daybreak.
6. (A) is correct because both professors and bankers use the respective devices (instruction and pitchbooks) to impart knowledge to end users. Note that knowledge does not have to be especially useful or insightful as both pairings clearly prove. Consultants, trees, and pretend leaders of fantasy lands have little to do with knowledge, so (B), (C), and (D) can be rejected.
7. (D) is the best answer. (A) is incorrect since the school always ensures the proper placement of aesthetically pleasing steel poles to prevent such shocking activity. (B) is not correct since the proceeds from shorting Enron stock are being used to endow the position permanently. (C) is not appropriate since the limited funds are actually in a passbook account at Cambridge Savings Bank. (E) is incorrect since Michael Porter does not actually exist.