What do you get when you cross a salmon spawn with a roller derby? An HBS recruiting event.
There is nothing quite like the experience of seeing your normally confident, fun-loving spouse mutate into another person under the stress of finding a job. In scenario one he becomes “Recruiter Man!” spending inordinate amounts of time brushing his hair, practicing toothy grins in the mirror, and pacing the living room floor chanting to himself “I rock! I rock!”
Scenario two, “Mr. Deer in the Headlights,” sees him withdrawing from reality, glassy-eyed, chugging breath mints like popcorn at a movie. Either way it can be a frightening experience. But all is not lost. Your partner has a hidden ace: you. For good or bad, you can get him/her noticed at a recruiting event and here’s how:
1. Your best ally is the element of surprise. Try to create a diversion in an area opposite of the firm for which your partner would most like to work. As other students flock to see you breaking out in unintelligible spurts of song and dance, pie plate spinning, and unicycle riding, he will have ample time to make that much needed connection. But for goodness sake, disguise yourself!
2. Lace his resumes with the scent of freshly baked bread. It’s the world’s most powerful aphrodisiac and is sure to make him more attractive to somebody.
3. Set up your own recruiting booth! Pretend to be from some obscure company like, Macon Bay Bees Inc., and while talking to your partner, exclaim in high shrill tones, “I am so impressed!” just loud enough for the other recruiters to hear.
4. While he is sleeping, stencil “Pick Me!” on his forehead with glow-in-the-dark paint and as he walks into the event, trip the lights.
These suggestions may sound absurd, but they’re effective. After all, my husband got a job.