The 2003 Section Olympics will take place on April 23rd around the HBS Campus, and will enable Sections to demonstrate their prowess in various endeavors, including physical, scholastic, and creative competitions. In addition, the Olympics will provide the entire cohort with an opportunity to develop cohesion and display pride in HBS as a whole. As a public service, the HARBUS interviewed two of the Section Presidents to discuss this unique opportunity to demonstrate spirit, pride, and cohesion.
HARBUS: Welcome, gentlemen.
Therivel (NA): I’d like to take this opportunity to thank my fellow presidents for a successful year, and thank Chirag for agreeing to discuss this wonderful bonding opportunity.
Shah (NB): Laurent, it’s an honor to be here. It’s great to have a part in building some cohort cohesion.
Therivel (NA): You know, Chirag, now that you mention cohort cohesion, I think it’s a shame that we have to waste our time competing with those “lower letters,” strictly in the name of “cohort cohesion.”
Shah (NB): You’re right. There’s a reason they come after the letters “A” and “B” in the alphabet.
HARBUS: Excuse me, did you say “lower letters?”
Therivel (NA): Sure. You know, New J, New K, New P. Whatever.
Shah (NB): For those of you who don’t know what we learn in all these president committees, let me fill you in. The administration has a computer program that sorts out the new students into sections. There’s a reason that the talent gets front-loaded into the sections at the beginning of the alphabet.
Therivel (NA): Exactly. I mean, that explains why schools give “A’s” for the best grades. It certainly isn’t arbitrary. If you ask me, we shouldn’t even bother with the whole scholastic competition, since HBS has already ranked us accordingly.
Shah (NB): Laurent, buddy, “A” and “1” are not the same thing. Don’t confuse the sorting program with the actual talent.
Therivel (NA): Dude. B before A. That’s humorous. You guys don’t even have a Credo.
Shah (NB): (speechless)
Therivel (NA): You might want to think very carefully about the consequences of messing with the Credo. We tend to get somewhat protective about that. I would hate to have to wipe the floor with your second-rate-section ass.
Shah (NB): I would hate to wipe down your Credo with our disco ball.
HARBUS: Gentlemen, there’s no need to get personal. We’re discussing a great opportunity to bond and build section cohesion.
Therivel (NA): Screw that!! A-Team all the way.
Shah (NB): Get ready to get bounced by Club B. This is our house.