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Is That a Gun In Your Pocket… and Call Her Tex….

Is That a Gun In Your Pocket…
By Jessica Gelman (OK)

People may think shooting guns isn’t romantic. But where else but a shooting range could you say, “Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?” Other than the countless gun lines, what sport could provide more opportunities for accidental hand contact, since it requires standing in very close proximity and engaging in several hand positioning tutorials. While guns are scary to most, with the help of ex-Marine, creative guy extraordinaire, Rob Betts, shooting guns is not only fun, it’s a great date. In the contest for Most Creative Intraview, Rob has placed himself at the top for going the extra mile.

Speaking of going the extra mile, all this creativity required some extensive traveling. To New Hampshire. Rob and I met at SFP on Sunday. Fresh off a squash match, Rob was smartly dressed in corduroys and a button down shirt. After finding his “old man Marine” Buick LeSabre, we were off on I-93 headed for the land of no gun laws and alcohol on Sundays. It really is only fitting that we had to venture to a state where the license plate reads “Live Free or Die” in order to shoot guns.

While going out for an expensive meal can be romantic and fun, is it really more exciting than a man putting a smoking 9mm in your hand while extolling the virtues of gun safety? Add a road trip into the mix and it becomes a serious opportunity to see the real inner workings of a person. How fast does he drive? Does he drive with two hands on the wheel or one? What radio station does he have on?

What do these driving nuances really tell you about a person? Not much, but it’s pretty funny to make things up. Seriously though, driving is one of those unconscious behaviors that provides good insight into a person’s disposition. Either way, Rob is a catch. He’s even-keeled, drives fast, listens to good music, has a positive outlook on life and a good sense of direction (in life and to the gun range). Importantly, during the car ride, Rob took the time to explain the importance of respecting guns and using them safely. I was thankful for the coaching, but was also beginning to get a little unnerved by the prospect of firing a gun.

When we reached the gun range, we were lucky to experience some good home Americana. Rob’s car was one-upped by the many fully loaded pick-up trucks in the parking lot. Upon entering the gun oasis, I was shocked by the number of gun options. There were handguns, rifles, those guns that Rambo wore and even the ones that Mel Gibson used in Lethal Weapon. I probably would have chosen a cute sexy gun like Charlie’s Angels use, but Rob picked out a very practical gun. Before we proceeded with the shooting, for safety, Rob had me go over the rules of shooting we had discussed in the car. Once again, I was impressed by how aware and sensitive Rob was to making sure I felt comfortable and was prepared.

We put on the noise blockers and the stylish plastic glasses and headed for the shooting range. Rob showed me the finer points of aiming and the common mistakes for first time shooters, and had lots of fun techniques and games on hand to keep me from shooting into the ground. I missed the target a lot, but by the end of 100 rounds could hit the bulls eye with some regularity. Rob was patient, positive, charming and loads of fun. With sore arms and souvenir targets in tow, we left the great state of New Hampshire and drove into the sunset.

Call Her Tex….
By Rob Betts (OB)

I admit I was kind of flustered when I caved in and agreed to go on a Harbus Intraview. After all, what kind of date could I come up with that would make me seem cool? I racked my brain and came up with the Museum of Fine Arts. Really cool – she’ll think I’m cultured. But then I was pervaded with this gnawing fear that I just wouldn’t seem, well, very manly. As a gentle and mild-mannered fellow I was naturally concerned that I would look wimpy if I took her to look at art. So I pondered for days, and then it hit me – I’d take her shooting. I figured I could fool her about my too-calm demeanor if I taught her to shoot, right?
Last Sunday I picked her up at SFP, and we started out for the hour-plus drive to Manchester, N.H. Jess is a fascinating person. First of all, she managed to spend almost three hours in the car with me and didn’t go insane. Second, I spent almost three hours in the car with her and didn’t need to break out an 80s tape. Third, I learned that before business school she had played professional basketball for a while – very nice, our kids could do something other than sit on the bench. It was very apparent that she’s brilliant, and when you throw in her good looks, my Mom would have been proud.

About that “Tex” thing. Jess is a natural shot. Although it was her first time shooting, she was putting holes in the 10-ring center of the target from 15 yards out. She’s got a steady hand and a good eye, and wasn’t phased by the guy shooting a bazooka next to us. I was impressed. Too impressed. I began to think that maybe she had done this before. I’m still doing the background check to find out.
So now for the

“It’s-a-Harbus-Intraview-so-it’s-gotta-have-one-awkward-moment-in-it” moment. Jess had just fired a few good shots, and was starting to look a little stiff standing with her arms outstretched, holding the pistol up. So I told her to “do the Danny Glover (from Lethal Weapon,” and roll her head and shoulders to loosen up a bit before firing again. She started rolling her shoulders a bit, and then decided that she really wanted to loosen up – so she started doing a little dance. It would have been perfect for the dance floor at Embassy, but when she started waving her right arm around in circles it was a different story. Apparently she had forgotten that she was holding a loaded and cocked pistol, and was now waving it right next to my head!

Of course, it’s very possible that she realized exactly what she was doing, and was just giving me a discreet warning to behave.

March 4, 2002
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