Intraview Post-Game Interview

Me n’ Her:

Goldie: This is the first time I’ve ever considered asking this question in an Intraview interview, but here it goes: Who would you say came closest to death on this Intraview?

Gelman: No one in my definition (emphasis added) came close to death. But if we’re talking close like in horseshoes, then I guess Rob came a little bit closer to death than me.

Goldie: Care to elaborate?

Gelman: Rob told me to relax after shooting and he showed me a little dance. I may have gone a little overboard on my imitation of his dance and the gun might have not been facing the shooting range for 1/100th of a second. I am talking horseshoes here.

Goldie: Did you have any questions at any point about how manly a man Mr. Betts was?

Gelman: Have you seen Mr. Betts? He could be GI Joe. He’s a marine. He’s a manly man. He did look a little white after my dance. I thought he was just impressed with my dance moves. Maybe the gun was closer than I thought.

Goldie: If Charlie’s Angels were to go to a shooting range, do you think it would be in Manchester, New Hampshire? If not, where would it be and why?

Gelman: Charlie would probably want a place that was secretive and would involve the Angels running around in their bikinis. That limits it to exotic secret locales. Thailand?

Goldie: If I were to have an Intraview alumni male versus female basketball game, who do you think would win and why?

Gelman: I don’t want to start anything in the pages of the Harbus Intraview, but well, the women’s team. The reason is that a number of very competitive, athletic women who played Division 1 basketball have gone on Intraview dates. Plus, now I know how to shoot a gun and that can be intimidating.

Goldie: Was anyone on the range with a shotgun? I think that’s what I would use.

Gelman: Only the New Hampshire natives, and those shotguns were LOUD.

Me n’ Him

Goldie: Bettsy, you’re a Marine. Were you really concerned that Jessica wouldn’t think you were a manly man, and if so, what does this mean for all the men out there who really aren’t very manly?

Betts: My friends are always telling me I’m too shy and sensitive, so I really was concerned.

Goldie: Just in case I ever end up on a date with you, what music would you have to play in your car for me to get really concerned about how the date was going?

Betts: “Stupid Girl” by Garbage.

Goldie: I once gave a guy a cactus on a date to warn him to behave. Do you think I should upgrade to waving a loaded weapon?

Betts: It all depends on how frisky you expect him to get. One girl dropped her keys at my feet while standing on her doorstep. When I picked them up I saw a huge can of mace. After that, I was afraid to even kiss her on the cheek. A gun, and I would have been afraid to shake her hand.

Goldie: My cars are limited to mid-sized sedans. What sedan other than a Buick LeSabre do you think would best allow me to blend in at the shooting range?

Betts: You’ve really got to get out of the sedan class and drive a pick-up truck. If it’s gotta be a sedan, go with something big and black. Tinted windows are a plus. Now if it’s a private gun club, a Mercedes is your best bet.

Me n’ Them

Goldie: Will there be another Intraview?

Betts: We’ll see……

Gelman: Hunting season is just around the corner.

March 4, 2002
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