Indoor Soccer

Indoor Soccer

Dark Side Annihilates Sexy Football Force Not Needed in 20-3 Pasting
By Derek Mendez, Sports & Health Editor

“Never underestimate the power of the Dark Side” -Darth Vader
Kicking off indoor soccer league action, ND’s Dark Side took on NB’s Sexy Football. These teams met outdoors last fall, with ND triumphing 2-1. Tension levels were high as the teams took the court in Shad Hall-could the Dark Side translate its soccer success from the field to a converted basketball court?

The Dark Siders scored first, after only a few minutes of play. Apparently finding a flaw in Sexy Football’s defensive game plan, ND subsequently opened the floodgates, with balls finding the back of the net seemingly at will. By halftime, the Dark Side had pulled ahead 9-0, and the opposing goalie was complaining of the sun blinding him. (Editor’s note: I’m going to try that excuse during the BGIE exam)

Dark Side goalie Derek “Rollerball” Mendez took a shutout deep into the second half, only to have it spoiled by an “own goal” put in by teammate Moz “Call Me Anytime, Especially if it’s During Class” Hussain. NB’s Dave Miller added a few late goals to pull Sexy Football within three touchdowns, but as time expired, the final score read approximately 20-3. That the scoring totals don’t properly add up is a sign that either the Dark Side lost count, or simply overloaded the scoreboard. Luis “Vegas” Sanchez said, “We just scored too many goals to keep track properly. Next time we’ll have to bring someone with a supercomputer to add them all up. In any case, Asis is going to come down on us hard because LUCA IS NOT HAPPY!”

Scoring Totals:
Dark Side
Julian “Rudi” Kurz 7
Morio “Scorio” Alexander 6
Peter “Stoichkov” Velikin 5
Dan “Third Degree” Burns 2
Moz “CMA,EIIDC” Hussain 2
Andre “The Giant” Silva 1

Sexy Football
Dave Miller 2
Moz “CMA,EIIDC” Hussain 1

Coming up next for the Dark Side:
February 19th vs. Rocco Sifredi, 3:30 PM

February 19, 2002
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