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Highlights from the AuntieGoldie Matchmaking Singles Survey

To be entered into the Intraview fray, Goldie asked all singles referred to her to fill out a survey so that she could match them as scientifically as possible. Really. Goldie matches singles as scientifically as possible. Seriously. Anyway, here are some highlights:

Can you identify the HBS singles that resemble these celebrities?

Ladies:

 Jennifer Grey (Dirty Dancing) – post nose job

 A mix of Whoopi Goldberg and Faye Dunaway

 A fat Asian Winona Ryder

Gents:

 Brian Williams

 Lt. Exley from LA Confidential

 Lee Harvey Oswald

and Goldie’s personal favorite…
 Marco Polo (in his younger years)

The books and movies my Intraview singles had read weren’t particularly interesting, although Goldie suspects people lied. The only person Goldie believed was the one who said Creating Modern Capitalism was the last book he read. Goldie was somewhat concerned about the mental health of the following gentleman:

Last Book Read: American Psycho
Last Movie Seen: American Psycho

The final part of the survey provided an opportunity to suck up to Goldie. Poems were in wide abundance, and frequently achieved the desired sucking-up effect. Every author of the poems below was eventually set up on an Intraview:

Aunt of Gold
Your wit is bold
And all things told
My admiration for you must remain controlled

Mysterious and quixotic
She revels in the erotic.
A.Goldie, they smile,
Makes B-school worthwhile…
Kudos! -Love, someone “exotic”

O Queen of Desire with Aphrodite’s touch
No other soft caress means so much
On her red throne she sits alone
Waiting for a love all her own

AuntGoldie is a special gal
Finds people fun dates
Will all this praise benefit me?!?!

…and one final thought:

“Goldie, judging by this questionnaire you are much more effective in matchmaking than career services.”

– Well, if that was true, Goldie would have a job right now, but your kindness is appreciated.

February 25, 2002
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