Welcome to the first edition of They Said What? This will be a recurring column, sharing some of the most humorous anecdotes heard around campus.
This week’s quotes were all made by professors in class during the Analytics Program, which is also known as “Math Camp.” In the future, students and staff are also open game, are comments from outside of the classroom.
To set the stage, Math Camp was taught in August for about 120 students in the Class of 2003 who didn’t have the strongest business backgrounds. You know-people like military veterans, engineers, non-profiteers, Doctors and Catholic priests. Three professors led Analytics: Professor Emeritus Sam Hayes in Finance, Teaching Fellow Jake Cohen in Accounting, and Professor Frances Frei in Quantitative Methods. The rest of their comments stand on their own.
“Yesterday we threw you into the deep end of the pool. Hopefully, no one drowned yesterday.”
“There’s always an account called `Other.'”
“If it doesn’t balance, that’s what `Other’ is for.”
“Accounting and Finance are not brain surgery. You just have to hear it four times, and you’ll be perfect.”
“You all have a tattoo that says `A=L+SE.’ Want to see mine?”
“See, it’s fun to make Cash Flow Statements. Don’t go out on your weekends. Do this kind of stuff.”
“There’s no person called Depreciation.”
“My creditors want their money. They don’t like me, and they want their money. Hopefully, they do like me, but they want their money more.”
“I’m all about magic words.”
“Today I’m deaf and blind.”
“We’re in marketing, and the guy in the call center is in another state-usually a hot state.”
“Prepare for the opener. Then go to bed.”
“If you don’t learn anything new in a class, ask for your money back for that day.”
“It’s nice to have precise intuition.”
If you catch an entertaining comment that you’d like to share, please email it to firstname.lastname@example.org.