Body by Jake
by Colleen McCaffrey, NE
Add one too many heart-decorated envelopes from the local country music station soliciting me to join their singles hotline and my mom’s ongoing attempts to set me up, and I finally saw the light. I finally decided to stop resisting Uncle Jordy’s incessant prompting and go on a Harbus Intraview. After all, it’s not as if I haven’t had enough fruitless interviewing this year.
Having decided to go ahead with the Intraview, it was now time to review the candidate. The classcard background check was definitely an interesting start. I first noticed that Jake goes by a nickname rather than his given name. Using “Jake” was a great call because it brings to mind both the MacGyver-type of guy who could fix your car with a bobby pin and some dental floss, and the hot character from Melrose Place (not that I ever watched Melrose Place). However, as I teased him later, listing Weightlifting under Activities balanced that out and brought us to net zero. On further consideration, I decided his affinity for weightlifting was a good thing. As anyone who watches infomercials instead of studying for BGIE can tell you, Body by Jake makes excellent home fitness equipment. I figured we were definitely on the right track.
A few drunken emails and hangover-induced Intraview postponements later, we finally met up to head out to the driving range. I’d been to the range a few times before and thought I’d remember where it was, so I didn’t get directions: Bad Idea Jeans. I’m pretty sure a sense of direction is unrelated to intelligence, so I feel comfortable saying I may have a worse sense of direction than the genius city planner who desgined Boston. Jake was really nice about it as we drove around and finally found the place. He was also very nice about bringing me an unsolicited bottle of water from the pro shop. All that and nice manners too-where have you been all year?? Despite a few accidental cage rattling shots-one where I barely missed the woman in the slot in front of me-we escaped with no lawsuits or broken bones, and had a great time. Of course, the avoidance of lawsuits may be partially attributable to my careful reading of recent EM cases; I obviously had an ironclad indemnification clause signed by the range owners before I stepped out there.
We decided to head downtown for some dinner outside, as it was a beautiful day and the first time in the past six months that it felt appropriate to travel above ground. I knew when we found street parking on Newbury that this was truly a magical Intraview. We grabbed dinner at Stephanie’s on Newbury, a nice-looking place with $25 linguine that tasted like a Lean Cuisine. The ambiance, and not the food, was the intended draw, however, and we had a great time at dinner joking around and finding we had a lot in common.
Jake’s a really great guy, and I have to hand it to Uncle Jordy that this was definitely not a fruitless Intraview. Thanks Jake!
There’s Something About Colleen
by Jake Bisenius, NH
In preparing for my Intraview with Colleen, I asked some of my female HBS friends about places to go in Boston. They loaded me up with all kinds of very shushy types of things like going to visit botanical gardens and museums. Which they thought were the kinds of things I should suggest.
I was pretty stoked when I came back from the bars at 2:50 AM on Friday Night and got Colleen’s email. At first she said her brother was in town and we should all hang out for the Intraview, but she was kidding as he was leaving that day. She then suggested that she and I go hit some golf balls at the driving range. Instantly thoughts of Cameron Diaz’s There’s Something About Mary’s extra cool character came to mind. I was so fired up that I sent my reply that night in a relatively intoxicated state. Noting the time of my reply Colleen accurately assessed that I had sent a drunk email, however she was impressed by the fact that I had not misspelled a single word.
We were originally scheduled to go out on Sunday, however since we were both hung over and the weather was crappy, we postponed the intraview to Monday. Colleen is very spontaneous like myself, and because I am a January and relatively new to Boston, she added a tour of miscellaneous neighborhoods to our intraview. Which is code for neither of us bothered to map out where we were going, so we got lost. We then pulled into a gas station and got directions, and were on our way to letting the Big Dog Eat. Which is code for hitting the driver.
A brief tip: don’t ask toll booth operators for information on driving ranges. Ours tried to tell us the range still had snow on the ground and was not open. Luckily for us he was wrong on both counts.
We got to the range and immediately our ambitious heroine ordered up two buckets of balls apiece. We then went out and hit the ball Yard, which is code for really far. Colleen has a great stroke, especially considering she has only been at the game for two years.
After golf we went to Boylston to go eat at an outdoor caf‚, where we discovered we had a lot in common. First and most important we both went to Big Ten schools. Second, we are both social chairs for our sections, and have shirts that state “COLLEGE” like in Animal House. Next, we’re both Catholic and have given stuff up for Lent, and, although we didn’t discuss it, probably have issues with guilt. Finally, we are both big Adam Sandler and Saturday Night Live fans, and like to quote both frequently.
Overall, I had a great time and hope to have shown that there truly is Something About Colleen.