Uncle Jordy: Hugh wrote something in Viewpoint last week about the Shad Caf‚ becoming “jilted like that bitchy girlfriend or wet boyfriend you ended up hating.” Carolyn, what in THE hell is a “wet” boyfriend?
Carolyn Bockius: As I was reading Hugh’s article, I too wondered what exactly a “wet” boyfriend was, so I’m afraid I cannot answer your question. Hugh?
Hugh Karseras: A wet boyfriend is, a guy who is a complete wimp, someone who has the charisma of a very boring glass of water, and who thought LEAD was a great class.
UJ: Carolyn, which of Hugh’s patented H-Bomb dropping techniques did he use on you? On others you met? How did they react?
CB: We agreed to put the H-Bomb on the shelf that night, but I did learn that Hugh spent a recent evening posing as a modeling agent, with his friends as the models. Unfortunately no women bought their ploy.
HK: The conclusion to my research to dropping the H-bomb has been to inform “potentials” that I am a sixth year undergrad studying a joint program at Hartford and Omaha Tech’s Science, Technology Undergraduate Department. It’s a different kind of H-Bomb. Still no luck though, damn it.
UJ: Hugh, nice reference to a wonderful Kraft product, CheezWhiz. Name the movie containing the most random line ever: “Umm, Did you get me my CheezWhiz, boy?” And what do you think of the website www.cheezyguy.com? That guy kind of looks like you, no?
HK: Casablanca. Nice music. Say that again and I’ll punch you.
CB: Drawing a blank on the movie, but that website is hysterical. Even though Hugh does bear a bit of a resemblance to Cheezyguy, I’m glad he hasn’t visited the website for pick-up lines. Then again, no guy should visit that site for pick-up lines.
UJ: The answer is The Blues Brothers. Hugh, mate, why do you sound so much like an Aussie? Do you prefer New York cab drivers that don’t speak English?
HK: Probably because I talk so quietly. You see silence in Australian and English sound very similar. Come to London and I’ll show you what a real taxi driver looks like!
UJ: Carolyn, thoughts on this question?
CB: Hugh definitely does not sounds like an Aussie. I think our cabbie was a little, um, odd, but I would take him any day over a cabbie that speaks no English.
UJ: Hugh given the hell you took from the cabbie, wouldn’t you have rather driven? Were you just afraid of getting lost like the other male Intraviewers? Do you think a GPS-equipped vehicle could have helped? What do you think is the size of the GPS-receiver market in greater Boston?
HK: Drive in Boston? I’m crazy, but that is just taking it too far. As for GPS, I got very disconcerted last time I used it as soon as I got into Boston, it just told me every which way I turned that I was still in Shithole Central.
UJ: What was your favorite game at Jillian’s, and what does that say about you?
HK: My favorite game was undoubtedly Nascar racing. I have become particularly skilled at crashing and burning. It says I have a very positive mental attitude as I don’t see barriers or walls.
CB: My favorite game was also the Nascar racing game, as I could flip Hugh’s car. I think that says that I am your stereotypically competitive HBS student.
UJ: What was your Intraviewer’s favorite game at Jillian’s, and what does that say about him or her?
CB: I would say Hugh’s favorite game was also the Nascar racing game, as he seems to like a challenge and that was really the only game where we were equally matched.
HK: It had to be the basketball free throws for Carolyn. Freud would say it stems to childhood dreams of beating her father at dominos, but I think he’s full of crap. I think it says Carolyn is good at shooting basketball free throws.
UJ: Hugh, you seem to have succeeded in getting Carolyn tipsy. How’d that work out for you? Did it allow the H-Bomb to be dropped more easily? Did it get her to like your poetry?
HK: Jeez, its like you didn’t read my article. It allowed me to win the final games. I told you already I don’t drop the H-Bomb any more. Like my poetry? Don’t be silly, they haven’t made hard enough liquor for that yet.
UJ: Carolyn, thoughts on this question?
CB: Although the drinks somewhat inhibited my dart-throwing ability, I am not the only one who missed the dartboard completely. As I mentioned we shelved the H-bomb for the evening, but I don’t even think alcohol could cushion its devastating impact. Hugh’s poetry, on the other hand, can definitely be enjoyed without a drink And no, he didn’t pay me to say that.
UJ: Carolyn, Hugh passed on the opportunity to get you a glow-in-the-dark keepsake bracelet to remember this evening forever. Did he lose many Cool Points when he made this call?
CB: Being the gentleman he is, Hugh left the decision up to me, therefore losing no Cool Points. If we had enough tickets for two bracelets, I can assure you that we’d both be sporting them today.
UJ: Hugh, she’s just being nice. Women always want the jewelry. Do you have regrets?
HK: It was a tough call to forego the bracelet, and I have to tell you I have had sleepless nights about it. All I have left is an option on Cool, and that has to be worth something. Regrets, I’ve had a few, but then again too few to mention. I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption. I planned each chartered course, each careful step along the byway, but more, much more than this, I did it my way.
UJ: Will there be a second Intraview?
CB: We didn’t discuss a rematch. Hugh?
HK: Now, Uncle Jordy, that is a very personal question. I thought you would know better.