ALLSTON (ND Press)-Unintimidated by NB’s gaudy shirts proclaiming “Sexy Football,” ND proved that you don’t need a uniform to win, besting their opponents 2-1. After an early goal by NB was allowed by the “honor scoring system,” ND’s defense rendered the opposing offense impotent. Marking opponents were Cameron “All Finance, All the Time” Jones, Kelly “Walla Walla” Waldher, Brendan “Chewbacca” McGeever, and Sid “Vicious” Thacker, and fending off shot after shot at the goal was Derek “Slayer” Mendez.
The equalizer came off the foot of Peter “Stoichkov” Velikin, after a give-and-go with Stephanie “Pride of Libertyville” Chamberlain. Distracted by ND’s top goal-scorer Andre “The Giant” Silva, NB was slow to recover from their premature defensive spurt, and remained limp for another 10-15 minutes. New recruit Julian “Beckenbauer” Kurz scored the go-ahead goal in the second half, receiving a beautiful pass from Morio “Scorio” Alexander, faking out the spent NB defense, and striking a low shot through the posts.
At the post-game press conference, ND captain Martin “Throw-in Master” Aspillaga commented on the opponents: “Sexy Football? These guys had skills about as arousing as a midterm review session for FRC. Maybe they should try and separate the two-being from Peru, ‘Sex y f£tbol’ seems like a much better idea to me.” Ladies, take note.
ND’s Soccer Team. Back row (L-R): Stephanie Chamberlain, Cameron Jones, Moz Hussain, Siddharth Thacker, Martin Aspillaga, Marty Butler, Luis Sanchez, Kelly Waldher, Derek Mendez, Morio Alexander. Front row (L-R): Brendan McGeever, Peter Velikin, Dan Burns, Adrian Maizey, Andre Silva.