Uncle Jordy: Cecily, Alex is half-German, and “Adler” is Deutsch for “Eagle.” Does this name fit this graceful first-time skater?
Cecily Kovatch: The name fits for sure. Alex is very graceful, except when he flew into my arms as he fell, but that goes with the Eagle theme as well. I think they were playing “Fly Like an Eagle” at that time; for some reason cheesy 70s songs are popular at the Frog Pond.
UJ: Cecily, you say Alex likes F-1 Racing. Do you know what that is? Who’s your favorite F-1 racer?
CK: Uncle Jordy, give me some credit. Formula One Racing is macho guys going in circles in a fancy car, very fast. Speed Racer is my favorite.
UJ: Alex, Who’s your favorite F-1 racer?
AA: Jordy that’s a no brainer, Schumacher in the Ferrari. Young Ralf in the Williams BMW is a distant second
UJ: Alex, Figure skates or Hockey skates?
Alex Adler: Come on, I’m a terrible skater, but spare me some dignity. Do you really think I could admit to Figure and still face Ken Baumgartner in the hallways?
UJ: Cecily, what is it that figure skaters do in a skirt? You worked for Schlumberger. Have you ever worn a skirt to an oil rig?
CK: Professional figure skaters do flips and twirls as their skirt flies in the wind and occasionally hit others with a crowbar. What I do in a skirt is none of your business. A girl showing up on an oil rig in coveralls attracts enough attention, let alone showing up in a skirt. Those guys generally have not seen a woman in over a month, you know. I did change from my work clothes to a clubbing outfit just before leaving a rig on a Saturday night. The cat calls and ‘offers’ I received as I drove off the site were quite entertaining. But this is a family audience so I will not go into details. I have some great stories though, ask me some time “off the record”.
UJ: Alex, are you sure you didn’t drive your Ferrari because it’s not equipped with GPS, and you were afraid of getting lost in Boston like every other Intraviewer so far? How big do you think the market is for GPS receivers in the greater Boston area?
AA: Well the Ferrari does have GPS, but I am not sure how to use it. I mainly wanted to impress Cecily with my knowledge of the T, which she paid for. I think the GPS market may be limited to the niche of HBS, the target customer being HBS males on Intraviews.
UJ: The Harbus Intraview subsidy barely gets you two bowls of soup at the Top of the Hub. Was Alex really trying to impress Cecily, or was it just a ploy to get her to skate in a skirt?
AA: I was definitely trying to impress; a guy needs to do everything he can.
CK: Yes, Uncle J, I wanted to mention how cheap you are with that subsidy. I am glad Alex is not as cheap as you. If it was a ploy, I fell for it.
UJ: What’s a menu-flipping waiter? Is that better than a finger-flipping waiter?
CK: Our waiter was trying to impress us with his skill. However, we were not as impressed as he wished. He did the finger-flip for Mitch.
UJ: Alex, You and Cecily met when she did a Jell-O shot in your room at the Hamilton Phat Hat party back in the fall. What’s better, playing the cello or shooting Jell-O? Or aren’t they mutually exclusive?
AA: I always wanted to play the cello instead of the violin, but judging by the mass quantity of Jell-O consumed at the Phat Hat & Tactile parties, I would have to go Jell-O. I wouldn’t try cello and Jell-O if you don’t already know the cello.
CK: They are not mutually exclusive. The depth of my persona is amazing–I am able to balance all of my cultural skills. How did you know I had Jell-O shots in Alex’s room anyway? I didn’t mention that. I have done both in a skirt though.
(Play the cello and shoot Jell-O that is. Get your mind out of the gutter…)
UJ: Alex, what kind of ploy were you trying to pull by having Mitchell Leiman show up?
AA: Nice try Jordy, I still am a bit weary of what you are up to there.
UJ: Mitch, speaking of ploys, these people think I sent you off on a little reconnaissance mission. Let’s play it up. When and where did you do your counter-intelligence training? “Goodfellow” Air Force Base, Texas? Mossad? KGB?
Mitchell Leiman: I actually learned some skills when I stumbled upon the CIA tunnel under the Russian Embassy while studying at Georgetown.
UJ: Mitch, how’d you know they were going to the Top of the Hub?
ML: Well, knowing that Alex is such a classy guy, I figured he would go to some place like the Top of the Hub. But I really couldn’t believe that they went through three bottles of wine. I couldn’t imagine what Alex was up to.
UJ: Mitch, Cecily and you both went to Club Med in the Turks and Caicos for Spring Break. You sure this just wasn’t a ploy to ride in on her a little early? What more did you discover about her down in the Carribbean? Were you able to trace her cell phone calls to Alex’s number?
ML: Well, I had intended the spy mission as a way to position myself for a beautiful spring break together with Cecily, but then some Wharton boys got in the way…
UJ: Will there be a second Intraview?
ML: Even with my expert spy skills, that one is too close to call…
AA: I don’t know; I definitely want to play her Cello though.
CK: As long as Mitch stays at home.