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Auntie Sam

Dear Auntie Sam,

Today I was talking to a boy friend of mine completely traumatized that Renata Dionello just got engaged. I think he actually thought he stood a chance. What is it with the “H Bomb” and HBS guys? Don’t they realize that the H Bomb only works with non-HBS women?
Anyway, what’s with everyone jumping on the marriage bandwagon? I’m tired of hearing all the sappy stories – apparently even Eric Schulz muddied his khakis on a snowy trail in the Black Forest to Pop The Question. Romance is fine, but where is mine? Here I was thinking I was in this hugely stable relationship with long distance boyfriend but, WHY HASN’T HE PROPOSED TO ME??? We have all these conversations about how we are so idyllically happy together and yet, he shows no sign of closing the deal. I understand that the male psyche is different from the female one but I don’t know that I can cope with my own Commitment Obsession vis a vis his Commitment Phobia.

Love,
About to Self-Jilt

Dear About to Self-Jilt,

Take heart. Relationships are an endurance test. Commitment phobia and all that poppycock aside, Pull Yourself Together. This is about which person appears to remain calm and indifferent in the relationship. You can’t possibly let on that his not having proposed bother you! You’d be letting down the whole Independent HBS Career Woman race.

Take matters into your own hands. Take Control – haven’t you learned anything here at HBS? Give him an ultimatum. All guys say they were thinking about the best way to do it, but who ever said that guys had first dibs on proposing anyway? You’re the one with the pants in the relationship. You propose and if he looks like he just swallowed a rotten egg, then well, he’s probably not worth it anyway. Get yourself a real man. Start by scanning classcards to figure out who’s single at HBS. Then click on that little speaker button to see what he sounds like first thing in the morning.

Yours,
Auntie Sam

Send in your psychiatric problems to Auntie Sam at harbus@hbs.edu

February 5, 2001
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