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Raamin Noodles

Dude. You gotta chill.

This hallowed institution to which you have entrusted two years of your life, one hundred and twenty thousand of your dollars, and uncounted liver cells is, in fact, very different from the job you just left. Effort isn’t rewarded the same way, 360-degree feedback is considerably less frequent (FIELD 1 doesn’t count, are you kidding me?), and now for some reason it’s weird if you bring coffee for the person grading your final deliverables. I know, it took me a while to figure that out too – lord knows I haven’t bought a non-travel-sized tube of toothpaste in years, and I’m still working my way through my pilfered stash of the Westin White Tea Bath Collection – but luckily for you, you’ve got ECs here who want to see you succeed (or at the very least make new, funnier mistakes). Take a deep breath, relax, remember that your bonus isn’t riding on this, and let me walk you through some hard truths.

We all believe you – you’ve got important comments to make during class! Unfortunately, the rocket propulsion system that you’ve somehow attached to the back of your arm isn’t making it any more likely that you’ll get called on. It is, however, making skydeck’s life that much easier (lord knows they need the material. Another 25-minute video collage from retreat set to “time of my life”? You can do better, people). I know it seems like the end of the world every time your outstretched arm is ignored, but trust me – face time with the professor isn’t going to get you a 1.

Calm down with the calendar invites! Don’t worry, I’m with you, I remember how Outlook’s three-toned fifteen-minute meeting reminder used to rule my life with an iron fist. This year it’s different – you haven’t noticed the triple-ding has pretty much been replaced by your classmate’s iPhones buzzing in gentle harmony at exactly noon to alert their not-nearly-embarrassed-enough owners that they’ve scheduled lunch meetings to start an optimistic five minutes after class lets out at 12:10? They’re assuming they’ll be able to rush out and cut the sushi line to make the timing work – let them go. It’s not a race anymore – lord knows you don’t have anything more important to do.

But don’t count the triple-ding out just yet – you’ll hear it make an appearance any time any of your team/club/group/section-mates schedules an event adjacent to a meeting you’ve set up, immediately followed by your counterparty sheepishly declaring that he or she, um, has this thing he or she totally forgot about that he or she definitely needs to go to and it’s all the way across campus, so like, could you finish this list up and email it out so we can review offline? Thanks, I owe you one. As your erstwhile teammate rushes away all you’ll be left with is a bitter taste in your mouth and a faint glimpse of the words “Tommy Tuesdays” flashing past your eyes as they sweep their phone off the table.

And dude, I know this is the hardest thing of all, but you’re gonna have to learn to adjust to not being on an expense account anymore. Eventually you’ll realize that your Chase Visa can be just as good a friend to you as your Green/Gold/Platinum/Black/Unobtainium card ever was – it just takes time (I’d suggest practicing by buying shots for your section during aforementioned Tommy Tuesdays). We get it, we’re all in the same boat – nobody’s judging you for it. Well, except for the consultants. Seriously, you couldn’t even spring for the Starwood Amex?
Raamin

October 21, 2013
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