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A Fond Farewell from That Guy

My good man and HARBUS editor Allen Narcisse has told me that my weekly articles have gained a fairly respectable following this term. I don’t know what to say-I am flattered and frankly embarrassed that so many of you enjoy perusing my inane, tactless and controversial musings (thanks for the thesaurus, Mr. Guerrero). It has been a pleasure and a privilege serving you this term.

I know that many of my regular readers are curious to know who I am. I regret to inform you that I won’t be revealing my identity in this article (this gets published, you know). However, I will [ed note: did] make myself known at the Newport Ball for those of you who give a damn.

Here is my chance to get serious (I have to do it once, OK?). I only have so many moments left on my little That Guy soap-box, so please humor me while I give you a piece of my oh-so-sensitive mind:

My first year at HBS has been, without a doubt, one of the most amazing and enriching experiences I have ever had. I have met the most interesting people I could have ever hoped to meet, and the party is only halfway over. If any of you find yourselves stressed, bored, angry or jaded, just take a look around you. All it takes is a quick moment of reflection to see that the challenges that face you at HBS, however serious they may seem at present, are completely overshadowed by the unparalleled opportunities that we have all been granted by our participation in this community. I used to think I was smart until I came here-I have never been around a group of people that has challenged me so deeply and has forced me to rethink my life’s purpose so fundamentally. Thanks to you all for keeping the tradition alive and for making HBS the amazing place that it is.

Also, I would like to apologize to those of you who may have taken offense to one or more (or all) of my articles this term. I assure you my intent was to entertain, not offend. If you were upset, feel free to make fun of me, my section, my friends, my clothes, my hair, my family, etc. all of next year. Clearly I deserve it.

OK, enough of that. Here’s what I hate about HBS:
Case polls-Do I really need to submit some half-assed BS in the middle of the night to convince you that I’ve read the EM case? If you’re going to cold-call me the next day based on my response, please understand that I don’t make my best entrepreneurial decisions at 2 AM after that dude in my section decides to break out the Jager.

Ad-hoc Spangler course distribution-STRAT faculty, please put everything in the course-pack at the beginning of the term. Please don’t make us walk our asses over to Spangler fifteen minutes before class to get the revised case without the typos, the random note about the environmental implications of supply chain re-engineering in the digital economy, the C through H cases, or the updated version that says “by the way, Enron is bad.”

Burden Speakers during lunch-unless the presentation is going to involve sharks with freaking laser beams on their heads, it’s probably nap time.

The “no wireless in class” rule-If there has ever been such a thing as a “losing strategy” throughout the centuries, it has been fighting the advance of technology. Embrace the web-it’s your friend.

The HBS gossip mill-wait-that’s my whole gig. Never mind.

Violently resisting “section fun”-Part of HBS is being open to having a little fun in and out of the classroom. If you don’t like letting loose a bit while you’re here, you probably should have taken that Wharton offer.

Complaining about being at HBS-We are some of the luckiest people in the world, and the “problems” we face here pale in comparison to those of the world around us. We can use this experience to change our lives, reach new personal and professional heights and hopefully provide other people in the world the kind of opportunities that have become part of our everyday lives. Live every moment as if you only had two years here.

Best of luck, class of 2004. That Guy loves you.

June 2, 2003
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